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Created Dec 05, 2007 01:07AM PST • Edited Dec 05, 2007 01:07AM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   Perfect 5.0

   Absolutely fantastic second installment in an absolutely fantastic trilogy filled with phenomenal writing, action, directing, acting, music, editing, creativity, and a HUMUNGO enjoyment factor. There’s just something about DEAD MAN’S CHEST that just clicks: they seem to have everything right. It’s like they took the ingredients on how to make a entertaining and intelligent film and amped it up to a higher degree of funness. Some may say DMC is bloated, could use a bit more editing, and “too complicated” (seriously, guys?), but to me, DMC hit all the right buttons.

4. Acting

   Really Great 4.5

   Dude, seriously – everyone should be taking home awards.

5. Male Stars Perfect 5.0

   Johnny Depp, man, you gotta love the guy. Everything he does is near perfect. Coming onboard for round 2 of PIRATES fun, Depp effortlessly gets back into Jack Sparrow’s shoes, and delivers his lines without faults. Hell, Depp is Sparrow now. Orlando Bloom attempts to act once and while to decent effect, but his range is far limited. The second show-stopper in Bill Nighy (or, to say, his walk and voice) as Captain of the Flying Dutchman, Davvy Jones. Never before has a CGI character seemed so real (and yes, this is counting Gollum and King Kong – no offense). Nighy gives us a performance of a lifetime.

6. Female Stars Perfect 5.0

   Keira Knightly is actually bearable; she transcends being the hot sight to look at and finally delivers us a character to care about. Fortunately, her performance excels to a greater length in AT WORLD’S END.

7. Female Costars Really Great 4.5

   Naomie Harris co-stars as Tia Dalma, a fortune-teller of sorts. Overall, she delivers a solid performance, though her created accent – at times – is difficult to understand.

8. Male Costars Perfect 5.0

   It’s difficult to label who is a co-star, since they all seem to be THE stars of the show. However, I guess Jack Davenport (BBC’s COUPLING) fits the bill. Anyone gonna guess what I’m going to say? Well, once again, he was fantastic. It was DEAD MAN’S CHEST that made me a fan of his work. Definitly a actor to keep a eye out.

10. Film

    Really Great 4.5

    Sublime. Fantastic. Is there any other form of praise I can possibly muster? Aside from one paticular scene that could have used some triming, DEAD MAN’S CHEST is truly – again- fantastic.

11. Direction Perfect 5.0

    You wouldn’t know it watching THE RING, but Gore Verbinski is a fantastic – mind you, absolutely fantastic director. He has one hell of a creative eye, capturing some beautiful visuals. Additionally, with the exception of one scene in the middle of the movie (a sequence involving Will and the Flying Dutchman), the editing is sublime. For a two and a half hour movie, it truly does feel like it flies by, something that can’t, unfortunately, be said about it’s predecessor, AT WORLD’S END.

12. Play Perfect 5.0

    This may be too high of praise, but the dialouge is seriously a work of art. Screenwriters Elliot & Rossio are, in my opinions, one of the top three writers in the business today.

13. Music Great 4.0

    Hans Zimmer has crafted yet another wonderful score. Although AT WORLD’S END is his crowning achievment (in my opinion, of course), DEAD MAN’S CHEST still contains a

14. Visuals Perfect 5.0

    As praised about above, DEAD MAN’S CHEST boasts some stunning scenery. And as per above, I quote myself: “He [Gore] has one hell of a creative eye, capturing some beautiful visuals.”

15. Content

16. Edge

    Tame 1.3

    To quote Johnny Depp in the bonus materials for AT WORLD’S END, “You can’t swear in a Disney movie.” C’mon, Jerry Bruckheimer’s names attached to this project, that means: action and crazyness.

17. Sex Innocent 1.0

    Suggestive dialouge from Knightly & Jack.

18. Violence Fierce 1.6

    Fantasy violence. But boy, it’s fun!

19. Rudeness Polite 1.2

21. Reality

    Fantasy 4.6

22. Circumstantial Fantasy 4.6

23. Biological Fantasy 4.6

24. Physical Fantasy 4.6