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Created Mar 15, 2011 08:56AM PST • Edited Mar 15, 2011 08:59AM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   Pretty Awful 0.5

   Either Joaquin Phoenix is a terrible rapper, or he just created an ill-conceived satiric piece that completely trashes his career and image in the film “I’m Still Here.”

   Ostensibly a documentary filmed by his brother-in-law Casey Affleck about Phoenix’s career transformation from actor to rap artist, the film chronicles a bizarre odyssey by Phoenix when he abruptly announces to the world that he is retiring from acting. After deciding to also apparently stop bathing or grooming, he is shown as a spoiled, narcissistic star who thrives on drugs, hookers, and demeaning comments to anyone around him. Throughout the film, he continuously degrades and ridicules anyone who suggests that this is a fake ploy or stunt. He acts increasing bizarre and surrounds himself with people equally disgusting who enjoy exposing themselves to each other and defecating on faces while people sleep.

   I don’t know what to believe anymore, and from what I’ve seen in this film, I don’t care. His antics are either a really pathetic cry for help, or a disgusting attempt to fool us all. But if the latter is true, than shame on him for questioning us who are asking whether it’s true or not. Either way, it doesn’t work. My esteem for Mr. Phoenix has diminished greatly, and his film has earned the lowest rating I have given thus far on WikPik.

   Watched on Netflix streaming.

4. Acting

   Pretty Awful 0.5

5. Male Stars Pretty Awful 0.5

   Joaquin stars in this mess as a person incapable of any human decency. His brooding, unkempt, and vile persona, real or not, is nauseating.

6. Female Stars Bad 1.0

   Gee, who do well appreciate more…the hookers who come to party with him in a coke-fueled orgy or his publicist who helps enable this mess, and sits by smiling as he looks ridiculous on Letterman?

7. Female Costars Pretty Awful 0.5

8. Male Costars Pretty Awful 0.5

   Phoenix surrounds himself with a bevy of idiots who allow him to constantly degrade them.

10. Film

    Pretty Bad 1.5

11. Direction Pretty Awful 0.5

    If this is a scam, you have to ask who’s idea it was. If it’s Affleck, that shame on him.

12. Play OK 2.5

13. Music Pretty Awful 0.5

    “J.P.” cannot rap.

14. Visuals OK 2.5
15. Content

16. Edge

    Sordid 2.9

17. Sex Erotic 2.9

    Lot’s of male and female nudity and sex. We see far more of his assitant’s genitals than could ever be necessary.

18. Violence Fierce 1.6

19. Rudeness Nasty 4.2

    “Nasty” would be just one adjective to describe some of the actions in this film.

21. Reality

    Surreal 2.3

22. Circumstantial Surreal 3.0

    Is it real, or is an actor playing a drug addict who wants to be a rapper? It’s surreal to think that someone with his talent would throw it away on something as bizarre as this.

    If Ned Beatty is remembered for “squealing like a pig” in a movie that was clearly fictional, can we get past what we see Phoenix doing in this film without a jaded opinion of him? Doubtful.

23. Biological Surreal 2.5

24. Physical Glib 1.4