ViewGuide

Created Jul 19, 2008 08:19AM PST • Edited Jul 19, 2008 08:19AM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   Pretty Awful 0.5

   If Argento is a “genius of horror” I want to know what scale he’s being graded on. Is his creative genius only slightly better than, say, a severly mentally disturbed three year old? Because if that’s the case, then kudos to you, Signor Argento, Opera must be an incredible tour de force for you and certainly not the laughable disjointed crap I had to sit through. The rest of us expect a bit more than that. And certainly we’d rather you not cop out on your obligations as a writer by allowing the villian in this film to be exposed by a pack of vengeful stage ravens. You heard me.

4. Acting

   Pretty Awful 0.5

5. Male Stars Pretty Awful 0.5

6. Female Stars Pretty Awful 0.5

7. Female Costars Pretty Awful 0.5

8. Male Costars Pretty Awful 0.5

10. Film

    Barely OK 2.0

11. Direction Barely OK 2.0

12. Play Barely OK 2.0

13. Music Barely OK 2.0

14. Visuals Barely OK 2.0
15. Content

16. Edge

    Sordid 3.0

17. Sex Erotic 3.0

18. Violence Brutal 3.0

19. Rudeness Profane 3.0

21. Reality

    Glib 1.7

    Rolls eyes What kind of reality am I supposed to be looking at here? That this could actually happen? Maybe most of it, there’s a lot of weirdos out there, and plenty of fiesty ravens. But I’m not convinced that a young opera singer’s first impulse upon having been made to watch her lover get sliced by a masked man is to just go home and go to bed.

22. Circumstantial Glib 1.7

23. Biological Glib 1.7

24. Physical Glib 1.7