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Created Aug 07, 2011 09:47PM PST • Edited Aug 07, 2011 09:47PM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   Really Great 4.5

   This prequel to the outdated 60’s franchise is great, yet I still can’t seem to get over the title… Rise of the Planet of the Apes surprised me. I really wasn’t expecting a movie about the ape-pocalypse to be done in a way like this. The movie feels similar to the first Deathly Hallows movie, where it set everything up. Then, the second was mostly action. I feel like the inevitable apes sequel will be just like this. When I say I didn’t expect it to be like this, I mean I wasn’t expecting an actual movie with build up, emotion and good writing. The atmosphere was dark or happy when it needed to be, and I found that to be interesting. The movie is basically 4 parts- the lab apes, James Franco raising an ape, James Franco having to get rid of it, then finally, the rise. There WILL be a sequel, and I pray it won’t be called something ridiculous like Return of the Rise of the Planet of the Apes.

4. Acting

   Really Great 4.5

   The acting was surprisingly good. James Franco was fantastic as always. Freida Pinto was great, although I have no idea who she is. JOHN LITHGOW. No words. He’s amazing in any role he has (ahem- trinity).
   Now I have to talk about Tom Felton. Mr. Malfoy here seems to be trying to have an American accent… which failed horribly. His accent was really all over the place, and the only reason I knew he was supposed to be American was because the character of his father was American. Tom Felton, as much as I love him, did not succeed in this movie. At all. 10 points from Slytherin.

5. Male Stars Perfect 5.0

6. Female Stars Perfect 5.0

7. Female Costars Perfect 5.0

8. Male Costars Good 3.0

10. Film

    Really Great 4.5

    The direction was obviously great, and I feel no need to elaborate. The writing was fantastic, but there really wasn’t much substance int he middle of the film, due to lack of dialogue. It’s understandable, and it didn’t lose my attention, but I felt the writing could have been a bit better. The music was your generic sci-fi epic score, which, if you change one or two notess you’ll have a score to some other movie.
    Now, the visuals. For some reason, everyone seems to be raving over them. I don’t think they were THAT impressive. I could easily tell these apes were animated. They did NOT look real. They looked good, in a Rango sense, but not good in the real world. Also, the WHOLE SCENE ON THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE WAS A CHEAT! For whatever reason, there was fog everywhere. Why? So they didn’t have to animate the rest of the bridge. It wasn’t raining, and I’m pretty sure they weren’t inside a cloud.

11. Direction Perfect 5.0

12. Play Really Great 4.5

13. Music Great 4.0

14. Visuals Very Good 3.5
15. Content

16. Edge

    Risqué 2.0

    A bit of violence toward poor, animated creatures. This should be safe for kids, though. Nobody’s getting their limbs torn off or anything.

17. Sex Innocent 1.0

18. Violence Brutal 3.0

19. Rudeness Salty 2.0

21. Reality

    Glib 2.0

    This is not happening. Any time soon, that is. I mean, this is PLAUSIBLE but VERY unlikely. I guess that’s why they call it science FICTION.

22. Circumstantial Surreal 3.0

23. Biological Natural 1.0

24. Physical Glib 2.0