ViewGuide

Created Dec 05, 2010 10:55AM PST • Edited Jun 30, 2014 05:52PM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   Good 3.0

   The French sure know how to concoct clever romantic comedies. If only the execution were up to snuff, Heartbreaker would be a classic of the genre. Oh bien, it screams for an American remake anyway. Hollywood simply has to cast their version better for a monster hit.

   Heartbreaker masks its farce with mock seriousness. A lady’s man breaks up troubled relationships by seducing the women, stopping just short of sleeping with them. What do women want? He knows. Oh does he know.

   Aided by a couple of high-tech con artists, the whole thing plays like a Mission Impossible for gigolos. The movie establishes the professional hearbreaker’s bona fides, after which he meets his match and falls in love. Bien sûr.

   Glamorous settings – think Monaco in a purloined Ferrari – provide the backdrop for lots of sexy talking, sexy walking, dirty dancing and Wham! Wake me up before you go-go. Take me dancing tonight.

   Two skinny stars give the movie its sexy core, though one of them – Vanessa Paradis – disappoints. Grimly beautiful, she doesn’t make us believe her unhappiness is due to her fiance, nor that she can embrace real joy when it beckons.

   Memo to Hollywood: The outrageous conceit of a sexless gigolo works. Cast a leading man just like Romain Duris. Find a better leading lady and improve on a couple of the supporting players. Scout out some luxe locations, and you’ll have yourself a RomCom winner.

4. Acting

   Good 3.0

   Romain Duris works hard to be a ladykiller, and succeeds. Bantam strut, live wire reactions, handsome features: he’s ideal for playing straight in outrageous situations.

   Vanessa Paradis – just this side of painful to watch – makes Kate Moss, her “husband” Johnny Depp’s former girlfriend, seem voluptuously cheerful in comparison. Painfully thin, just skin & bones really, her world-class cheekbones rarely and reluctantly get utilized in a smile. Still, give her credit for pulling off such a sexy role at the age of 37 after having given birth to two little Depps.

   Julie Ferrier jumps off the screen as the heartbreaker’s sister/accomplice. By turns funny, sexy, arch and natural, she brings to mind Carol Burnett at her best.

   The rest of the cast is forgettable or disappointing, though Andrew Lincoln is fine as the cuckolded fiance.

5. Male Stars Great 4.0

6. Female Stars OK 2.5

7. Female Costars Good 3.0

   Julie Ferrier (the sister) was Very Good. Héléna Noguerra (the nympho) was OK.

8. Male Costars OK 2.5

10. Film

    Very Good 3.5

    Glamorous locales, romantic visions, crisp editing, and effective homage to earlier romances make this a fine RomCom film.

11. Direction Very Good 3.5

12. Play Very Good 3.5

    “Women in couples come in three kinds. Happy. Knowingly unhappy and unhappy without admitting it.”

13. Music Great 4.0

14. Visuals Great 4.0

    Morocco, Paris and especially Monaco drench the film in glamorous French locales.

15. Content

16. Edge

    Risqué 1.9

    Some naughty talk, the random bare breast, and silly violence make Heartbreaker a bit risqué.

17. Sex Titillating 2.5

18. Violence Gentle 1.5

19. Rudeness Salty 1.6

21. Reality

    Surreal 2.1

    Farcical reality begs a burning question: How does this specialized gigolo market his services? Perhaps he buys “sexless gigolo” as a search term. Inquiring minds want to know.

22. Circumstantial Surreal 2.1

23. Biological Surreal 2.2

24. Physical Glib 2.0