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Created Apr 13, 2010 04:10PM PST • Edited Apr 13, 2010 04:11PM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   Really Great 4.5

   I have gained a whole new amount of respect for Silvester Stallone. Leaving behind all the lame gimmicks that made Rambo 2 and Rambo 3 ever so cheesy, this new Rambo brings us the Rambo we’ve been asking for since the original First Blood in 1982. This is a grittier and more reallistic Rambo. Remember that Rambo who would shoot a guy and there’d be no blood? Remember the Rambo with the guns that were apparently water proof? Well, that Rambo is a thing of the past. This is a new Rambo for a new generation of hardcore action fans and dedicated fans of the entire series.

   Rambo takes place in Burma(Apparently, noone told Stallone they renamed Myanmar a few years back) as we meet a tired old Rambo who has no care for the world and works as a tour guide and snake handler on a river. He guides a group of Christian aid workers down the river to help the sick and wounded. Soon, that group is kidnapped and Rambo leads a team of mercenaries to save them.

   Filled with lots of great action and tons of violence, there is one thing you can learn from this whole film: You don’t f*ck with Rambo!!

4. Acting

   Great 4.0

   The acting is very strong. Ol’ Sly Stallone proves he’s still got the goods after all these years. He’s proven in 2006’s Rocky Balboa and he definitly proves it with his lightning fast moves here. The only other standout I can honestly think of is Julie Benz, who plays the God squadder who catch’s Rambo’s attention and gives him a reason not to hate society.

5. Male Stars Great 4.0

6. Female Stars Great 4.0

7. Female Costars Great 4.0

8. Male Costars Great 4.0

10. Film

    Really Great 4.5

11. Direction Great 4.0

    Stallone is just as good of a director as he is an actor. He knows how to direct these battle scenes and action sequences and gives the movie a reallistic edge.

12. Play Really Great 4.5

    This has some of the best lines of dialogue in the entire series. My two favorites:

    “When you’re pushed, killing’s as easy as breathing.”

    “Live for nothing, or die for something.”

13. Music Great 4.0

14. Visuals Perfect 5.0

    The blood and gore looks very, very, and I mean VERY real.

15. Content

16. Edge

    Sordid 3.2

    Parents(notably the Dads), put the kids to bed and take in the violence. This is not only the most reallistic of the Rambo series, but its also the most violent. This is NOT for the squeamish.

17. Sex Erotic 2.6

18. Violence Savage 4.0

19. Rudeness Profane 3.1

21. Reality

    Glib 1.8

    While many elements of the film are indeed happening in the world, I don’t think anyone’s as good with a gun as Rambo.

22. Circumstantial Glib 1.8

23. Biological Glib 1.8

24. Physical Glib 1.8