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Created Aug 29, 2009 01:27AM PST • Edited Aug 29, 2009 01:27AM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   Bad 1.0

   Batman Forever shall forever a disappointing piece of stupid BS!!!! Where do I begin on where this movie goes wrong. Well, for starters, there’s the absence of Tim Burton and Michael Keaton. The studio was not pleased with the earnings of Batman Returns, even though it was the third top grossing film of 1992. They weren’t one bit pleased with Burton’s style. So they got rid of the darkness, adult overtones, the director, and the star. Burton was replaced with Joel Schumacher and Keaton was replaced with Val Kilmer, of all people.

   The movie is just a cheese fest. The overall tone is just way too upbeat for a Batman movie, with all the bright flashy colors and music I thought this whole movie took place in Las Vegas.

   The story is pretty much about Batman trying to decide if he should keep going on with his crime fighting. While doing this, he must keep his secret not only from his enemies, but from the ones he cars for. Meanwhile, The Riddler and Two Face are trying to manipulate brain waves and become the smartest people on earth. Some of this concept actually had a lot of potential, but Schumacher had to go and screw it up.

4. Acting

   Pretty Bad 1.5

   Kilmer is actually alright as Batman. He surprisingly fills out the lip requirement for the role quite nicely. However, when he attempted to smile while in the Batsuit, I just said “HEY! Only Keaton can do that!” Nicole Kidman is a little shallow as Dr. Meridian. Chris O’Donnel turned the bad ass Robin into a whiny little ball of angst. Jim Carrey was just being himself as usual. Tommy Lee Jones was easily the worst actor in the movie. He was just way too over the top and his make up looks fake.

5. Male Stars Pretty Bad 1.5

6. Female Stars Pretty Bad 1.5

7. Female Costars Barely OK 2.0

8. Male Costars Pretty Bad 1.5

10. Film

    Bad 1.0

11. Direction Awful 0.0

    The tilted camera shots are just wwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy too overused. It gets so annoying after awhile.

12. Play Pretty Bad 1.5

    Every time they talk, it sounds like something out of a lame B-movie from the seventies or eighties. At some points it just feels like they let the actors make stuff up as they go along. Its all one-liners, folks, and there are plenty to go around.

13. Music Barely OK 2.0

    The music, is actually somewhat OK. I just don’t like how its too upbeat and triumphant, while the Danny Elfman score was dark and gloomy yet still had a powerful feel to it.

14. Visuals Awful 0.0

    The visuals are just absolutely terrible. The whole city looks fake. I preferred the model city from the first two films. The blue screen effects are just terrible. The costumes are beyond stupid, this was the film that introduced the Bat-nipples and Bat-asses. As I said before, Two Face’s make up was just too fake and didn’t look real.

15. Content

16. Edge

    Risqué 2.2

17. Sex Erotic 3.0

18. Violence Fierce 1.7

19. Rudeness Salty 1.8

21. Reality

    Fantasy 5.0

22. Circumstantial Fantasy 5.0

23. Biological Fantasy 5.0

24. Physical Fantasy 5.0