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Created Jun 18, 2009 02:26AM PST • Edited Jun 18, 2009 02:26AM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   Good 3.0

   An actual improvement over the prolonged mediocrity that was its 1979 namesake, “When a Stranger Calls” amounts to a modest if ultra-glossy success in the sea of 21st century horror remakes. The central villain is a phone-calling psychopath apparently able to tear victims apart with his bare hands, though the closest the Simon West-directed “When a Stranger Calls” comes to delivering the grisly goods is the sight of an impaled hand. Targeted — and indeed marketed — at the same teenage audience that would go on to swallow the vomitous “Prom Night,” West’s film whimpers when compared to the better, grislier remakes of the past few years (“The Hills Have Eyes,” “Halloween,” “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre”) but excels as what it is itself supposed to be: a shallow throwaway thriller designed to give the viewer a full jolts while sitting constantly in the presence of the eternally beautiful teenage protagonist (here portayed by Camilla Belle). Belle isn’t always convincing when forced to act terrified as it becomes increasingly clear the strange man who keeps phoning the home phone at her babysitting job poses a much more imminent threat than a random caller. Prolonging what was really only the opening of the more ham-fisted original to near-feature length (the first half of this new incarnation is all build-up), “When a Stranger Calls” gets mixed results in its various attempts at fear and dread. A particular scene in the bedroom of the children Belle’s Jill is babysitting provides one of the broadest spooky moments, while a scene in which Jill races between the house and its outhouse is effective despite not being nearly as effective as the best such sequences in the “Halloween” series. “When a Stranger Calls” is ultimately too aesthetically gorgeous to have the appeal of a more down-and-dirty alternative, while it also exemplifies the sometimes disastrous results of spoiler-ridden marketing. We sit watching for an hour to have a crucial twist revealed — except that it was revealed in the film’s marketing campaign. “When a Stranger Calls” fails to offer surprises but is better than its most vehement detractors would have you believe. The hospital-set epilogue, whichever way you slice it, is still atrocious though.

4. Acting

   Good 3.0

5. Male Stars Good 3.0

6. Female Stars Good 3.0

7. Female Costars Good 3.0

8. Male Costars Good 3.0

10. Film

    Good 3.0

11. Direction Good 3.0

12. Play Good 3.0

13. Music Very Good 3.5

14. Visuals Very Good 3.5
15. Content

16. Edge

    Tame 1.4

17. Sex Innocent 1.0

18. Violence Gentle 1.3

19. Rudeness Salty 2.0

21. Reality

    Glib 1.5

22. Circumstantial Glib 1.5

23. Biological Glib 1.5

24. Physical Glib 1.5