ViewGuide

Created Jun 03, 2009 10:48AM PST • Edited Jun 03, 2009 10:48AM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   Very Good 3.5

   “Splinter” makes for a competent, grotesque little thrill ride nonetheless lacking in depth. Whereas a B-movie classic like “The Blob” (1988 version, naturally) couples its visual unpleasantries with a half-assed but acceptable source, the chaos than ensues around the characters in Toby Wilkins new film is pretty much the end-all. There’s no explanation for the spikey parasite terrorising them, just the blood-covered, (literally) bone-breaking B-delights the grim presence ensures. Paul Costanzo (the stoner from “Road Trip”), Shea Whigham, Jill Wagner and Rachel Kerbs portray the stick-thin protagonists/anti-heroes of the piece, enthusing their given roles with some sense of depth but only in the emotional connection they develop between each other. Little tidbits of info about their past are revealed throughout, though little of it goes towards explaining who they are as individuals. But fuck it, “Splinter” isn’t concerned with their emotional hang-ups, just good old-fashioned horror of the broadly grisly kind, a la “Hatchet” or “Slither,” two other relatively recent Grindhouse throwbacks. The token line must be that “Splinter” gets under the skin, and it does so. Not as much as with the characters, the thing infesting them through splinters and proceeding to feed from them inside, hatching spikes and splinters that make bones brittle and possess any infected parts of the body. The result? A twisted, mangled view of what was once a human corpse confining the characters to a gas station. The guys begin to unravel how to combat the film’s menace but not before sequences that remind of the audacious arm-breaking scene from “The Fly” or just the all-out gruesomeness of a ‘70s video nasty. Superficial thrills, but they’re breathtaking all the same.

4. Acting

   Very Good 3.5

5. Male Stars Very Good 3.5

6. Female Stars Great 4.0

7. Female Costars OK 2.5

8. Male Costars OK 2.5

10. Film

    Very Good 3.5

11. Direction Very Good 3.5

12. Play Very Good 3.5

13. Music Very Good 3.5

14. Visuals Great 4.0
15. Content

16. Edge

    Sordid 2.8

17. Sex Innocent 1.2

18. Violence Savage 4.3

19. Rudeness Profane 3.0

21. Reality

    Surreal 2.5

22. Circumstantial Surreal 2.5

23. Biological Surreal 2.5

24. Physical Surreal 2.5