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Created May 03, 2009 12:01PM PST • Edited May 03, 2009 12:01PM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   Very Good 3.5

   “Blade” delivers all the typical thrills and all the typical thrills of the comic-book-to-film genre, with extra blood thrown into the works. Director Stephen Norrington opens his vampiric extravaganza with an audacious club sequence during which the highlight is the introduction of the sprinklers overhead, that spray blood down onto the many lapping tongues of the club’s crimson-loving patrons. That is, except for one. A human caught in this unbelievable orgy of fanged monsters desperately tries to escape the madness but is quickly pounced upon, spared only by the arrival of the titular Blade (Wesley Snipes), a daywalker (half-vampire, half-mortal, zero Kyle Brovlovski regardless of what you’ve heard) and vampire slayer altogether more badass than, say, Buffy. He brutalizes many a menace and sets another up in flames, setting the stage for an enthralling violent and unapologetic piece, totally embracing its own shallowness and delivering the kinds of all-out madness-cum-horror that has many a fan rightly declaring: “Fucking awesome!”

4. Acting

   Very Good 3.5

   These aren’t what you’d call Oscar calibre, but the cast fill their roles neatly and are clearly having fun. As the eponymous Blade, Wesley Snipes defines a widely-known role in simultaneously protecting the human race from the nefarious vampire uprising and kicking some serious Dracula butt. He’s as wooden as can be but I guess that’s the point. Why show a bountiful range when no one watching can really identify with your unforgiving vamp killer anyway? He’s about as endearing as the character can be and, in many ways, the perfect fit for the part.

5. Male Stars Very Good 3.5

6. Female Stars Very Good 3.5

7. Female Costars Very Good 3.5

8. Male Costars Very Good 3.5

10. Film

    Very Good 3.5

11. Direction Great 4.0

12. Play Good 3.0

13. Music Very Good 3.5

14. Visuals Really Great 4.5
15. Content

16. Edge

    Horrid 3.7

17. Sex Erotic 2.6

18. Violence Savage 4.5

19. Rudeness Nasty 4.0

21. Reality

    Fantasy 5.0

    This couldn’t very well happen, now could it?

22. Circumstantial Fantasy 5.0

23. Biological Fantasy 5.0

24. Physical Fantasy 5.0