ViewGuide

Created Oct 19, 2008 11:50AM PST • Edited Oct 19, 2008 11:50AM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   Good 3.0

   Far better than it ever should have been, the eponymously-titled “John Rambo” or “Rambo 3” to everyone else other than Sly, is balls-to-the-wall, eviscerating and most importantly brainless fun. Nowhere near the seriousness that “First Blood” aimed for, “Rambo” nevertheless manages to tackle a fairly political situation in Burma with a semblance of seriousness and sensitivity, despite the ridiculous conclusion to the movie.

4. Acting

   Barely OK 2.0

   Stallone’s undoubtedly the star, and overshadows the rest, though the mercenaries and missionaries do their part, whilst the Burmese, particularly the paedophile leader, play the archetypal bad guy roles as well as can be expected.

5. Male Stars OK 2.5

   Stallone writes, directs and stars in the second revisit of his old classics (the first being “Rocky Balboa”) and despite his poor choices throughout the ‘90s (“Daylight”, “Demolition Man” and “Driven” were diabolically dreadful if harmless films) he shows he’s capable of revisiting the acting skill that was shown so promisingly in “First Blood” and “Rocky” back in the day.

6. Female Stars Barely OK 2.0

   Julie Benz is probably the female ‘star’ of the film, being but a hint of a love interest for ol’ Johnny, and the actress does well in what little time she has onscreen (which is more than most, but no-one seems to hold the screen here but Stallone). She also plays damsel-in-distress and needy Christian as well as can be expected, but is nothing special.

7. Female Costars Pretty Bad 1.5

   None – score reflects this. There could, and should, have been more, despite it being a male-oriented action film.

8. Male Costars Good 3.0

   I really liked the male supporting cast here, if only because they are both the predominant gender presented in the movie, and because there are some great little performances as well. The leader of the mercenaries is a foul-mouthed British guy played by an ACTUAL British actor, which from a British point of view is brilliant for two reasons: he’s not an American playing a Brit, and he’s not the bad guy. Same goes for some of the other mercenaries; not every Brit has to be an enemy! The leader of the Burmese soldiers is disgusting, the character a stereotypical evil leader with a particularly horrific penchant for young boys, just in case you didn’t hate him enough already. I guess though that this actually makes the performance that much better though.

10. Film

    Good 3.0

    Filmed near to where the real atrocities are occuring, the film, until the latter stages, is a surprisingly level-headed presentation of the horror present in Burma, and Stallone fools you into thinking that he’s aimed for a politically-oriented, serious movie. As it is, when Rambo strikes back, the film becomes that much more insane, and it’s presented fantastically by Stallone, who really knows how to shoot action, and could become quite the director if he reigned in the terrible dialogue.

11. Direction Very Good 3.5

    Like I said above, the film is directed amazingly well by Stallone, this and “Rocky Balboa” not only reinvigorating the franchises but reminding us how the man is not just muscles and lisp, but quite the action star and action director. I was genuinely taken aback by how good the film was, location-wise, action-wise and the serious nature of the plot. Here’s hoping Stallone can get some more directing jobs (not necessarily to star, but as a director he could totally reinvent himself).

12. Play Bad 1.0

    This is hammy rubbish, as you’d expect unfortunately. The opening narration is sensible and fact-based, but afterward much of it is along the lines of ‘I don’t wanna fight’, much, MUCH profanity from the Brit mercs, and religious babble. The film’s so much better when it’s action that you come to dread watching the dialogue-heavy scenes.

13. Music Very Good 3.5

    Jerry Goldsmith’s awesome theme is present, and to me that shows that Stallone knew he needed to remind people of what made the other films so popular, bringing the music in and allowing the film to enjoy the spirit of the previous three movies.

14. Visuals Really Great 4.5

    Here again Stallone excels, the lush jungles and harsh weather of Southern Asia a far better setting than any studio could be. The action, as shot, is fantastic, and the gore that goes with it is probably more realistic than many people would want to admit, but this is a strength, and is pulled off with style in the insane final act.

15. Content

16. Edge

    Horrid 4.4

    Don’t go in expecting “First Blood” levels of violence or profanity: that was a walk in the park. “John Rambo” is disgusting, bloody, filthy madness from the start, and though it pauses at many points, the aforementioned final act is probably one of the most gory showdowns in cinema history.

17. Sex Lewd 3.8

    It’s more the hinting at than what’s presented, and that’s why the score is higher. Rape is implied, and in more than one situation. It’s not shown, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t feel disgust.

18. Violence Monstrous 5.0

    Yes, this film really is that wrong. In depicting a largely realistic situation based on the Burmese conflicts, Stallone thinks it apt to present what REALLY happens when heavy artillery, knives, bullets and arrows make contact with human flesh. I suppose that it’s better to show it as it would be (another example being the Omaha Beach scene in "Saving Private Ryan), but that makes it more disgusting, and so go in with extreme caution if blood and guts aren’t your thing.

19. Rudeness Nasty 4.5

    Rambo doesn’t swear once. The British mercenaries and their American counterparts don’t stop. Be warned if you’re sensitive to swearing!

21. Reality

    Surreal 2.5

    Most of the film can be seen as realistic; the situation in Burma, goody-goody missionaries spreading the word where they shouldn’t, and untold amounts of violence towards innocent people. What isn’t is the one-man crusade by a 60-plus soldier against a whole army. That isn’t to say that it would never happen, just that it is SO unlikely. I hesitate to put the score to fantasy because of the serious and all-too-real depiction of the atrocities in Burma, but it stays at the mid-point because of Rambo’s crusade.

22. Circumstantial Surreal 2.5

23. Biological Surreal 2.5

24. Physical Surreal 2.5