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Created May 22, 2008 06:14PM PST • Edited May 22, 2008 06:14PM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   Great 4.0

   An almost impossibly fun movie. Luckily for us, Spielberg never forgot how to do it right, and despite its A-list credentials, the beating heart of a B-Movie pumps every vein and capillary full of liquid cheese. That’s why we don’t call bull when characters start swinging on vines with a pack of capuchin monkeys, and instead can just enjoy the ride. The Great? Harrison Ford can still move like Indy, and Shia is poised to pick up the slack in the next iteration. They lay the nostalgia pretty thick here, but without suffocating the movie with it. The effects were fantastic, particularly in the fire ant scene and the amazon chase, which was one of the most exhilarating, well staged action sequences I’ve ever witnessed. Complaints? The script is kinda all over the place, it could have used a little more focus, in particular the whole double-cross storyline could have been cut (or at least truncated). Cate Blanchette was great, but not quite villainous enough in the end. I also felt an ineffable disappointment about the ending; maybe I just didn’t want to experience to come to a close… All in all, it’s a superb popcorn flick that is sure to disappoint those who take it too seriously.

4. Acting

   Great 4.0

   Harrison seemed a but rusty at the beginning, maybe it was just because his voice is gravelier, but I never noticed it past the 15-minute mark. Everyone does their jobs perfectly, and John Hurt in particular is fantastic as Indy’s colleague driven mad by the crystal skull.

5. Male Stars Great 4.0

6. Female Stars Great 4.0

7. Female Costars Great 4.0

8. Male Costars Really Great 4.5

10. Film

    Really Great 4.5

11. Direction Perfect 5.0

12. Play Very Good 3.5

13. Music Perfect 5.0

14. Visuals Perfect 5.0
15. Content

16. Edge

    Tame 1.5

17. Sex Innocent 1.0

18. Violence Fierce 2.2

19. Rudeness Polite 1.3

21. Reality

    Surreal 3.0

    It’s pretty out there with the ridiculous action, but you have to just allow the impossible to flow through you and accept it as part of Indiana Jones’ universe.

22. Circumstantial Supernatural 3.5

23. Biological Surreal 2.5

24. Physical Surreal 3.0