ViewGuide

Created Mar 10, 2008 12:58AM PST • Edited Mar 10, 2008 12:58AM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   Bad 1.0

   You know that friend who thinks it’s funny to wrap your Christmas present in six different boxes like a matryoshka doll only to find it’s a gift card at the bottom to a store you don’t like? Or how you made your parents buy you a Happy Meal every week for a month so you could collect all the Matchbox cars? But since it was a McDonald’s toy it was a generic non-brand name toy car where the decals didn’t line up and the wheels didn’t work?

   That’s this movie.

   The good news is Happy Meal toys have improved since I was a kid. Bad news is this movie will always suck.

4. Acting

   Pretty Bad 1.5

5. Male Stars Pretty Bad 1.5

6. Female Stars Pretty Bad 1.5

7. Female Costars Pretty Bad 1.5

8. Male Costars Pretty Bad 1.5

10. Film

    Barely OK 2.0

11. Direction Barely OK 2.0

12. Play Barely OK 2.0

13. Music Barely OK 2.0

14. Visuals Barely OK 2.0
15. Content

16. Edge

    Risqué 2.4

17. Sex Titillating 2.4

18. Violence Fierce 2.4

19. Rudeness Salty 2.4

21. Reality

    Natural 1.0

22. Circumstantial Natural 1.0

23. Biological Natural 1.0

24. Physical Natural 1.0