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Created Feb 01, 2008 09:44PM PST • Edited Sep 04, 2010 01:26PM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   Barely OK 2.0

   “The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.” While this movie’s intent is Shakespearian, its execution is decidedly less exalted. That such a dreary, undistinguished thriller has come to be multiply Oscar nominated is a better mystery than anything in the movie.

4. Acting

   OK 2.5

   Having matured into a certain seriousness, George Clooney and his movie star charisma are never less than watchable. Meanwhile Tom Wilkinson and Sydney Pollack are each first rate character actors, though Michael Clayton is unlikely to be mentioned in their obituaries.

   Tilda Swinton, a bona fide acting genius, delivers a notably poor performance here. She plays nervous where it is called for, but her actions are never believable. That she has been Oscar nominated for this performance is a credit to the publicists.

5. Male Stars Very Good 3.5

6. Female Stars Barely OK 2.0

7. Female Costars OK 2.5

8. Male Costars Very Good 3.5

10. Film

    Barely OK 2.0

    Best Picture, Best Screenplay and Best Director Oscar nominations? Bull! I demand a recount!

11. Direction Good 3.0

    Reasonably clever and effective flashback structure works for Tony Gilroy, but the ending is pure hokum. Best Director? Hardly.

12. Play Barely OK 2.0

    A few good lines do not a Best Screenplay make.

13. Music Barely OK 2.0

14. Visuals Barely OK 2.0
15. Content

16. Edge

    Tame 1.5

17. Sex Innocent 1.0

    None, nada, zilch. No sex, fine, but a George Clooney movie with no romantic intrigue? Some might consider that a waste.

18. Violence Fierce 1.8

19. Rudeness Salty 1.7

21. Reality

    Glib 1.3

    Lawyers are venal, pesticide companies are homicidal, and Hollywood writer-directors are self-righteous. Believe any two of these three assertions and this is the movie for you.

22. Circumstantial Glib 2.0

23. Biological Natural 1.0

24. Physical Natural 1.0