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Created Dec 20, 2007 05:48AM PST • Edited Dec 20, 2007 05:48AM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   Good 3.0

   Victor Crawley (Hodder) was a mutant child. His father (Hodder) hid him away from the rest of society. Anytime other kids saw him they would tease him for his looks. One Halloween night, a few of the town’s teenagers decided to give Victor a bit of a scare. So they lit his house on fire, while he was inside. Mr. Crawley was out at the time. When he got home and saw the burning house, he tried to get inside to save Victor. He was trapped out though and resorted to slamming a hatchet against the door to attempt to tear it down. What he didn’t know though was that his son was on the other side of that door trying to get out. That hatchet ended up killing Victor right then and there. Mr. Crawley couldn’t go on living his life knowing what he had done. He became secluded in that house for the next ten years when he died as well.
   Ben (Moore) was recently dumped by his girlfriend of nine years. In hopes of cheering up his friend, Marcus (Richmond) takes him on a trip to New Orleans for Mardi Gras. Ben is not impressed by this though. He just wants to get away from all of the drunk and wild people surrounding him. He remembers that a friend of his told him about a ghost tour on a swamp, the same swamp where Victor Crawley was murdered by his father. Marcus reluctantly goes with him although it is far from his idea of fun. He just wants to be around the topless girls. This does workout partially for him though. On the boat Shapiro (Murray) is making a Girls Gone Wild type of video with Misty (McNab) and Jenna (Fioreavanti). Ben is only interested in a very pretty but distant girl, Marybeth (Feldman). Also on the trip is an older married couple, Mr. and Mrs. Permatteo (Riehele, Darbo). The boat is being led by Shawn (Shen). It soon becomes clear that he may not be the best tour guide. The boat gets stuck on a rock and soon begins to sink. They manage to get back on land but only after Mr. Permatteo nearly gets eaten by an alligator. The quickest road back appears to be through Victor Crawley’s house. Many of the others back out but the Permatteo’s go on through to be stopped by Crawley himself. After witnessing the bloodbath the others believe that Victor Crawley is back and attempt to run for their lives.

4. Acting

   Great 4.0

   The film had a terrific cast. For starters you got Kane Hodder, Robert Englund, and Tony Todd; Jason Voorheez, Freddy Krueger, and Candyman. That is pretty impressive for an independent movie that was largely made because of the impact that those horror villains had on Adam Green. Robert Englund and Tony Todd have much smaller roles than Hodder, but they still add to the film. Englund is in the first scene, playing an angry old gator fisherman. Tony Todd plays a mysterious and also somewhat bitter tour guide who redirects Ben and Marcus to the tour boat that they end up on. Kane Hodder did fairly well with his role of Victor Crawley. Honestly though, I think the character could have used some work. There was a back story but it just seemed like the same old thing. He looked just seemed like a less developed version of one of the Wrong Turn mutants. A more original back story would have given Hodder more to work with. It was nice to see him as the father. We were able to see him and his conflicting relationship with his son. It seemed like he was trying to save him the despair of the rest of the world. It was obvious that he blamed himself, something that he could never let go of and ended up leading to his death.
   The star of this film was without a doubt Joel Moore. He has had some good supporting roles like in Dodgeball, but it is about time he had the lead. His portrayal of Ben is his best performance to date. Without him, I am not sure if I would have liked the film as much as I did. He seemed more like an average guy who had different traits and sides to his personality. Basically Moore wasn’t the least bit clichéd, which is very refreshing since in many older slasher films there were a lot of stereotyped characters. Moore is hilarious in the film using his quirky yet wise sense of humor. His best friend in the film played by Deon Richmond added to the comedy and made the situation seem a bit lighter, mostly through his criticism of those around him and panicky state. Tamara Feldman played off of Joel Moore very well. She was his romantic interest, but was most valuable because she was a strong character. It was really important to have a female character like this in comparison to the other girls on the trip. Aside from her, we have Misty and Jenna who are ditsy, catty, and give up their bodies for the camera and in turn are almost exclusively seen just for their physical appearance. This was largely mocking Girls Gone Wild and the excessive nudity that is often attached to horror films. Joel Murray was very entertaining as the perverted adult film “producer”. As a big fan of Still Standing and his character, Fitz, it was fun seeing him in this.

5. Male Stars Great 4.0

6. Female Stars Great 4.0

7. Female Costars Great 4.0

8. Male Costars Great 4.0

10. Film

    Good 3.0

    The film wasn’t perfect. A little bit more reason would have been good, but overall it was a pretty good and very funny horror movie. Just before coming in contact with Victor Crawley, Marybeth tells the others that her mother believed that when countering anxiety, ghosts can be trapped in the day that they died. This seems plausible when it comes to Victor. He was burned in a fire the day he died and the group lights him on fire once again. I really like that they included this notion in the film of repeating your death, it would have been even better if it would have been expanded on even further. This gives reason for revenge. The killer always just goes after everyone in sight pretty much. This could be for peace or dignity but majority of the time even if they have been wronged in the past, the victims they go after don’t always make sense. This puts it in to the perspective that maybe he has been confused through his state of mind and he really thinks anyone he sees are the ones that tormented and killed him.

11. Direction Good 3.0

12. Play Good 3.0

13. Music Good 3.0

14. Visuals Good 3.0
15. Content

16. Edge

    Horrid 4.1

    The gore in the film is intense and plentiful. The kills were very well done and look about as real as they could. Horror kills aren’t always the most realistic and they especially aren’t in Hatchet. Legs are hacked out with shovels and bodies are split in half with wooden handles of these shovels. You don’t necessarily believe it but it doesn’t matter all that much. The kills aren’t ruined by this. The film goes to extremes in a very entertaining way. The scene where Victor is set on fire is one of the most realistic in the terms of possibility of it happening and even mother nature seems to put a stop to him dying there. Of course, he can never really die since he’s the bad guy. The ending responds to this, but in a very poor way. I was very disappointed and just felt like there should be more. It was way too sudden and so typical how there is no real conclusion. As far as the sex goes, there really isn’t any but there is plenty of nudity. At the beggining of the film almost every girl on screen is topless since it is Mardi Gras. Two of the girls on the trip, shooting their adult type film often take off their shirts for the camera.

17. Sex Lewd 4.1

18. Violence Savage 4.1

19. Rudeness Nasty 4.1

21. Reality

    Supernatural 3.9

    The villian of the film is dead, but causing many deaths himself. Victor Crawley is a ghost even if he doesn’t take the appearance of one. It is also unrealistic largely because of the deaths as I mentioned before. Crawley efforlessly violently murders people with weapons that may not be capable of killing in the way they are used. Body parts twist, turn, and become detached. This movie wasn’t made for it’s realism though. The kills end up offering comedy and a fun factor more than anything else.

22. Circumstantial Supernatural 3.9

23. Biological Supernatural 3.9

24. Physical Supernatural 3.9