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Wick's Review

Created Oct 24, 2021 07:40PM PST • Edited Dec 23, 2021 01:43AM PST

  1. Quality
  2. Barely OK 2.0

    James Bond is dead, literally and figuratively. Daniel Craig resurrected him better than any actor ever, but has now acquiesced to character suicide in the depressing and desultory No Time To Die. Sorry for the plot spoiler, but a lifetime of rushing to see James Bond movies is now yet one more relic of the Before Times.

    Bond’s figurative death is more important than his literal one. As to the latter, Danial Craig declaring this his 007 swan song barely wounded the franchise, notwithstanding the high-pressure star search that will attend to selecting his successor. No, it’s the figurative death wounds that kill the passion for James Bond movies. Those strike at the heart of why 007 is the most popular and durable movie character in history.

    No Time To Die proffers a vulnerable and monogamous James Bond, surrounded by females who are distinctly less sexy than he is. Wrong, wrong and wrong. Plus, in a way-too-long 2¾ hour movie, James Bond has nary a single notable quip. In short, No Time To Die is Bond with most of the good stuff gone.

    007 did lure us into a movie theater for the first time since the Before Times. That was welcome, even at an inflationary $25 for two tickets. But now, regularly going to the movies is apparently one more old habit killed by Wokism. Who wants to pay good money to get enervated by a once invigorating blockbuster franchise? Plus, if James Bond has lost his license to thrill, lesser movie series don’t stand a chance.

    BTW, the issue isn’t a male lead vs. a female lead. It’s quite possible to make a great Bond-like movie with a female lead. Consider Angelina Jolie’s Salt, Evelyn Salt. She had a license to thrill, and thrill she did!

  3. Good 3.0

    Daniel Craig does nothing in his Bond swan song to harm his position in the Bond pantheon, where he stands at Sean Connery’s shoulder. However, no star can overcome lame material and a worse concept.

    Now that he’s done, I never got why a blond Bond was a big deal. That said, from the blond hair to the blue eyes to the bodaciously buff body, he makes Connery and the other Bonds look pedestrian, and that’s an impressive group of leading men. Unfortunately, this led to him often being the hottest member of the cast, and certainly the most objectified. That last was almost certainly a conscious decision by the wokesters making these movies, and is another nail in the coffin of what made Bond movies into cultural events.

    Supporting Cast

    • Ana de Armas deserves major props for her single scene. The best member of the cast not named Daniel Craig, she is adorable, funny and credible in the clinches. As has been clear since she jumped offscreen in Hands of Stone and then in Blade Runner 2049, she is a dazzling moviestar.
    • Léa Seydoux underwhelms as Bond’s love interest. She’s neither fascinating or stunning.
    • Rami Malek fails to evoke dread as the supervillain, plus he mushes his dialogue. An action movie without a great villain starts off with a big strike against it.
    • Lashana Lynch underwhelms as another 00 and Bond’s apparent successor. She tries too hard and lacks the sex appeal to succeed, to call out just one flaw.
    • Ben Whishaw as Q has always underwhelmed and still does.
    • Naomie Harris’s Moneypenny perks up every screen in which she appears.
    • Jeffrey Wright’s Felix Leiter underwhelms, yet again.
    • Christoph Waltz is wasted as an evil genius.
    • Ralph Fiennes ain’t no Dame Judy Dench in the M department.
    • Billy Magnussen fails to jump offscreen as a curious State Department agent.
  4. Male Stars Great 4.0
  5. Female Stars Barely OK 2.0
  6. Female Costars Very Good 3.5

    Ana de Armas was great and Naomie Harris was very good. The rest of the female costars were OK at best.

  7. Male Costars OK 2.5
  8. Barely OK 2.0

    No Time To Die is more forced march than thrilling adventure. Plus, it’s hard to follow and overlong at nearly three hours. Add in almost half an hour of trailers, and you’re in a theater seat longer than Sean Connery was strapped to a laser-table in Goldfinger.

  9. Direction Good 3.0
  10. Play Bad 1.0
  11. Music Bad 1.0

    Billie Eilish’s depressing and desultory theme song is perfect for this movie.

  12. Visuals Very Good 3.5
  13. Content
  14. Risqué 1.8

    Denatured Bond isn’t a virtue.

  15. Sex Titillating 1.6
  16. Violence Fierce 2.0
  17. Rudeness Salty 1.8
  18. Surreal 2.5
  19. Circumstantial Surreal 2.5
  20. Biological Surreal 3.0
  21. Physical Surreal 2.1


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