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Created Nov 15, 2019 04:02AM PST • Edited Nov 29, 2019 10:32PM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   Perfect 5.0

   Martin Scorsese would consider Parasite cinema, brilliant cinema. The rest of the filmic world agrees, seeing as how this South Korean sensation won the Palme d’Or at Cannes this year, where it beat out Once Upon a Time … in Hollywood, which was Peak Tarantino. After seeing Parasite, I have no objection.

   Such triumph isn’t a surprise given writer-director Bong Joon-ho’s string of stellar movies this decade, several in English. Parasite sticks close to home, set in Seoul, spoken in Korean. All ironic, only some is Korean specific, most is universal circa 2019. No wonder the sophisticates in Cannes ate it up. I did too.

   The dichotomy between the nihilism of criminals and their traditional family values on the homefront has been a font of irony for several post-modern filmmakers, from Chase’s Sopranos to Bong’s Parasite.

   Irony is heavily trafficked in Parasite, where a family of grifters displays amazing talent and diligence in their criminal efforts, yet slovenliness and lassitude in their personal life. Weirdly, they are content in their traditional little nuclear family unit, even the attractive and talented teenagers. That last part is kinda weird.

   Bong’s sophisticated humor gets darker and darker and darker. His Parasite telegraphs its moves, making the McGuffins all the more entertaining. This is masterclass moviemaking, deserving of a Golden Palm.

4. Acting

   Great 4.0

5. Male Stars Great 4.0

6. Female Stars Great 4.0

7. Female Costars Great 4.0

8. Male Costars Great 4.0

10. Film

    Perfect 5.0

    Writer-director Bong Joon-ho seems most concerned by class distinctions, nevermind that Parasite’s lower class family in a homogenous Korean society is clearly less well-off due to their manifest lack of virtue.

11. Direction Perfect 5.0

12. Play Perfect 5.0

13. Music Perfect 5.0

14. Visuals Perfect 5.0
15. Content

16. Edge

    Risqué 2.5

17. Sex Titillating 2.4

18. Violence Brutal 2.6

19. Rudeness Salty 2.4

21. Reality

    Glib 1.4

    Circumstantially surreal, otherwise totally natural: brilliant reticence for a perfect specimen of filmic art.

22. Circumstantial Surreal 2.1

23. Biological Natural 1.0

24. Physical Natural 1.0