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Wick's Review

Created May 26, 2019 05:54AM PST • Edited May 27, 2019 05:47PM PST

  1. Quality
  2. OK 2.5

    The Crimes of Grindelwald is also The Parade of Obscurities, so convoluted are its developments over 2¼ hours. Unlike other J.K. Rowling movies, which have generally been discernible despite their depth, Fantastic Beasts 2 makes even the convoluted Avengers: Age of Ultron seem accessible by comparison.

    It’s not the creatures, the fantastic beasts of the title. It’s the humanoids. Each has a deep backstory, while their endless machinations are hard to follow at first and then wearying to try. Such obscurities must be catnip for aficionados of J.K. Rowling’s wizarding world. For normies, they’re a slog. Any magic for that?

    Pity, as episode 1 of Fantastic Beasts wasn’t a great movie, but did augur great things to come. Hopes dashed for now, let’s see if episode 3 can save the day in 2021. Some magic streamlining will be required.

  3. Really Great 4.5
    • Johnny Depp makes a terrific villain. A bad actor in real life, hes an all-time great one onscreen.
    • Eddie Redmayne continues to be oddly compelling as the series’ hero Newt Scamander
    • Zoë Kravitz has an amazingly sculptural face.
    • Callum Turner jumps offscreen as Eddie Redmayne’s brother Theseus Scamander.
    • Ezra Miller simmers as a troubled young man.
  4. Male Stars Really Great 4.5
  5. Female Stars Really Great 4.5
  6. Female Costars Really Great 4.5
  7. Male Costars Really Great 4.5
  8. OK 2.5

    The Crimes of Grindelwald suffers from being a transitional episode in the Fantastic Beasts series.

  9. Direction OK 2.5
  10. Play Pretty Bad 1.5
  11. Music OK 2.5
  12. Visuals Really Great 4.5
  13. Content
  14. Tame 1.5
  15. Sex Innocent 1.4
  16. Violence Fierce 1.6
  17. Rudeness Polite 1.4
  18. Fantasy 4.4
  19. Circumstantial Supernatural 3.2
  20. Biological Fantasy 5.0
  21. Physical Fantasy 5.0


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