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Created Feb 23, 2018 10:26PM PST • Edited Jun 19, 2020 05:59PM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   Very Good 3.5

   Clint Eastwood’s terrorist-on-a-train film unspools like a cinéma vérité home movie. Three yokels from Sacramento – California’s middle-American capital city – get the chance to be heroes and don’t blow it.

   Spencer Stone, Alek Skarlatos & Anthony Sadler famously play themselves as the three dudes who stopped an Islamic terrorist on a train to Paris. Spencer gets the most screen time. He’s the man who took down the Islamist. Dude charged right into the barrel of that sick fuck’s rifle – straight-up American hero stuff.

   They’re regular Joes, not especially bright, bad or bold. Two are sons of single-moms, each diagnosed as ADD during their Sacramento boyhood. The movie spends most of its running time on that boyhood, adding up to a real-life boys-to-men story. The actual action on the train is sliced into little bits, teased throughout the film, the long interludes filled with flashbacks to the boys’ childhood and coming-of-age.

   The film opens on the Islamist, only showing his lower half as he walks through a train station. Much later, his handsome face is revealed, twisted with hate. Thankfully, the evil man was stopped by three dudes from Sacto, now memorialized in a very fine movie by the icon of American heroism known as Clint Eastwood.

4. Acting

   Good 3.0

   Alek Skarlatos is just this side of moviestar handsome. Spencer Stone has honed himself into an impressive man, physically and heroically. Anthony Sadler grew from the most self-confident to the most reserved, but acquitted himself well in crunch time.

   • Mark Moogalian & Isabelle Risacher Moogalian play themselves, fellow heroic passengers on The 15:17 to Paris.
   • Judy Greer & Jenna Fischer play Spenser & Alek’s moms.
   • Ray Corasani plays Islamist Ayoub El-Khazzani, the sick bastard.

5. Male Stars OK 2.5

6. Female Stars Good 3.0

7. Female Costars Very Good 3.5

8. Male Costars Very Good 3.5

10. Film

    Great 4.0

    Director Clint Eastwood is one of two 21st century cinematic masters of American heroism, the other being Peter Berg. Add The 15:17 to Paris to the vein of Clint’s oeuvre that includes Sully and American Sniper.

11. Direction Great 4.0

12. Play Great 4.0

13. Music Great 4.0

14. Visuals Great 4.0
15. Content

16. Edge

    Tame 1.0

17. Sex Innocent 1.0

18. Violence Gentle 1.0

19. Rudeness Polite 1.0

21. Reality

    Glib 1.1

    Talk about natural reality! Clint Eastwood’s cinéma vérité home movie even features the real life guys portrayed in the movie playing themselves.

    Much more could be written about the realities revealed in the movie, including about core Americanism and perverted Islamism, just not now by me.

22. Circumstantial Glib 1.3

23. Biological Natural 1.0

24. Physical Natural 1.0