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Created Dec 17, 2017 12:53AM PST • Edited Dec 29, 2018 09:23AM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   Very Good 3.5

   Justice League isn’t a bad movie, contrary to the professional critics. While hardly a great movie, it is very good and a step above Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, its main forbear. At least, it’s very good for those of us with a soft spot for classic superheroes, especially the mainstays of the DC Extended Universe.

   Batman

   Let’s face it, Batman isn’t an easy cowl to carry. Big screen, only Michael Keaton emerged reputation enhanced. George Clooney barely survived Batman and Robin. Ben Affleck isn’t bearing up well at all. He’s the weak link in Justice League. His Bruce Wayne voice is fine, his Batman voice not so much.

   Wonder Women

   Gal Gadot is DC’s breakout star, her Wonder Woman the superhero for half of humanity. She’s also the best thing going in Justice League, though she’s distinctly less charming than in the wonderful Wonder Woman.

   Superman

   The biggest superhero of them all looms large over Justice League, with Henry Cavill once again doing a creditable job in blue tights and red cape. That said, he lacks a light touch. Nor do we miss him much.

   Aquaman • The Flash • Cyborg

   Freshly invented, this Aquaman is totally badass, unlike the TV cartoon Aquaman of my youth. Thus, Jason Momoa takes some getting used to, but comes through with plenty of charisma to go with his world-class bod. As The Flash, Ezra Miller lightens the mood, helpfully. Ray Fisher evinces no emotion as Cyborg.

   Now, the Dings

   • Lugubrious and nearly witless: I mean, really.
   • Arcane Plot: Compare this spaghetti to the smoothly flowing Thor: Ragnarok still in theaters.
   • Disappointing Supervillain: Even the stellar Ciarán Hinds can’t vivify an animated mush-mouth.

4. Acting

   Great 4.0

   My commentary about the top-line characters are in the Summary above. Let it also be said that Gal Gadot can’t make another Wonder Woman soon enough. Aquaman in 2018 also has the potential to be solid.

   Great Supporting Cast

   • Jeremy Irons is an all-time classic Alfred.
   • Diane Lane is heartbreakingly good as Martha Kent.
   • Amy Adams is the most real Lois Lane ever.
   • Connie Nielsen is nails as the Amazonian Queen Hippolyta, Wonder Woman’s mother.
   • J.K. Simmons was born to play Commissioner Gordon.
   • Amber Heard & Joe Morton underwhelm in their minor roles.

5. Male Stars Good 3.0

6. Female Stars Really Great 4.5

7. Female Costars Great 4.0

   Diane Lane as Martha Kent, Clark Kent’s mom

8. Male Costars Great 4.0

10. Film

    Good 3.0

    There are nine credits on the screenplay. Instead of a racehorse, they gave Zack Snyder a camel to direct.

11. Direction Very Good 3.5

12. Play Pretty Bad 1.5

13. Music Good 3.0

14. Visuals Really Great 4.5

    200+ stunt players

15. Content

16. Edge

    Risqué 1.9

17. Sex Titillating 1.6

18. Violence Brutal 2.6

19. Rudeness Polite 1.5

21. Reality

    Fantasy 4.3

    Fantasy, generically and literally

    Batman remains the most ridiculous superhero, as per my Reality commentary from Batman vs. Superman.

22. Circumstantial Surreal 3.0

23. Biological Fantasy 5.0

24. Physical Fantasy 5.0