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Created Feb 08, 2016 10:36PM PST • Edited Feb 09, 2023 05:31AM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   Really Great 4.5

   Seriously funny and savagely smart, Hail, Caesar! represents another triumph for the Coen Brothers and their company of retro thespians. A satire of golden age Hollywood, it uses the Studio System as a canvas to mock targets across the political spectrum. Amazingly the Lefties take the worst of it, a turn of events that is positively radical coming from today’s Hollywood, even if projected upon yesterday’s Hollywood.

   Josh Brolin & George Clooney spend little screen time together, yet handsomely carry the movie in resolutely deadpan style. With strong chins and deep voices like theirs, this doesn’t take much work. Nevermind, that’s how both Hollywoods work, the real one and its satirical doppelgänger.

   Few movies have the ambition to be a period-piece studded with big song-and-dance numbers, ample historical allusions, sacred cows slaughtered, half a dozen big stars employed and more than a few LOLs. Then again, such ambition – deftly realized – is now standard fare for the Coen Brothers. Hail to them!

4. Acting

   Great 4.0

   Big Cast of Big Names

   • Josh Brolin as a straight-arrow studio head: Brolin is never less than great, a standard upheld here.
   • George Clooney as an old-school leading man: Clooney is a past-master at quasi self-parody.
   • Alden Ehrenreich impresses as a “singing cowboy” actor, coming across as callow and sallow, until it becomes clear that the camera truly loves him.
   • Ralph Fiennes as a stuffy film director: Fiennes even gets in a jab about a movie similar to Risen, the one his brother is about to star in.
   • Jonah Hill cameos in ultra deadpan style.
   • Scarlett Johansson plays a cheesecake actress whose beauty is skin deep.
   • Frances McDormand, Mrs. Joel Coen, amuses as a crusty film editor. The Coen’s sure love the film industry.
   • Tilda Swinton amuses as twin gossip columnists
   • Channing Tatum dazzles as a Gene Kelly-type actor and dancer.
   • Max Baker as the head Communist screenwriter
   • John Bluthal as the academic ringleader of a bunch of Commies
   • Fred Melamed, Patrick Fischer, David Krumholtz, Fisher Stevens as other Commie screenwriters
   • Clancy Brown as an actor in Hail, Caesar!
   • Robert Picardo as an obstreperous Rabbi: Picardo isn’t even Jewish.
   • Michael Gambon as the narrator

5. Male Stars Great 4.0

6. Female Stars Great 4.0

7. Female Costars Great 4.0

8. Male Costars Great 4.0

10. Film

    Really Great 4.5

    The Coen Brothers brilliantly satire religion, anti-religion, Communist dupes, Hollywood duplicity and much more in Hail, Caesar!. Even the title is funny. Then it gets revealed that the subtitle of the faux film is “A Tale of the Christ”. Add Ben-Hur to the satire list.

    The film is more smart than funny however, which means it is exceptionally smart yet not exceptionally funny, notwithstanding several legit LOLs.

11. Direction Perfect 5.0

12. Play Really Great 4.5

13. Music Really Great 4.5

14. Visuals Really Great 4.5
15. Content

16. Edge

    Tame 1.5

    Sub rosa themes are a subversive tactic mentioned by the subversive screenwriters in Hail, Caesar!, even as sub rosa elements work their way into the film, e.g., a sailor’s song-and-dance number that becomes increasingly homoerotic.

17. Sex Titillating 1.6

18. Violence Gentle 1.4

19. Rudeness Polite 1.4

21. Reality

    Glib 1.6

    The Coen Brothers base their satire on Hollywood epics like Cleopatra and Ben-Hur, giving the whole thing a parallel universe feel.

    Movie surrealism aside, one can reasonably conclude from Hail, Caesar’s cabal of Communist writers that these self-absorbed members of the intelligentsia resent the bosses for being more successful than they are. Assuming themselves smarter, they take umbrage at being outclassed. Nevermind that their motivation isn’t pure and their knowledge of economics laughably absurd. They’re angry and they want someone punished.

22. Circumstantial Surreal 2.4

23. Biological Glib 1.4

24. Physical Natural 1.0