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Created Nov 26, 2015 10:06PM PST • Edited Dec 29, 2018 09:13AM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   Pretty Bad 1.5

   Minions aren’t just evil, they’re bad, or at least their movie is bad. It’s a children’s movie and I’m an adult, sure. But other kiddie pix work for parents as well as kids, and not just those from Pixar.

   Part of the problem is that the villain is more ridiculous than scary and isn’t funny at all, a fatal flaw in an action comedy. Mostly however, it’s only got perhaps three or four jokes that work, not nearly enough.

4. Acting

   Barely OK 2.0

   Sandra Bullock isn’t given a lot to work with as über-villain Scarlet Overkill, nor does she improve her lot.

   Jon Hamm & Michael Keaton are also undistinguished. Allison Janney does better, not that it matters much.

5. Male Stars Barely OK 2.0

6. Female Stars Barely OK 2.0

7. Female Costars Barely OK 2.0

8. Male Costars Barely OK 2.0

10. Film

    Pretty Bad 1.5

    The film starts off pretty well, originating in pre-history and zooming to the 20th century with Minions being like little yellow Zeligs. But then it fizzles when the main plot starts.

11. Direction Barely OK 2.0

12. Play Pretty Awful 0.5

    One good line: “Minions live to make their boss happy. They have no other purpose.” Yep, run into more than a few of those in my career.

13. Music Good 3.0

14. Visuals Barely OK 2.0
15. Content

16. Edge

    Tame 1.3

17. Sex Innocent 1.0

18. Violence Gentle 1.4

19. Rudeness Polite 1.4

21. Reality

    Fantasy 5.0

22. Circumstantial Fantasy 5.0

23. Biological Fantasy 5.0

24. Physical Fantasy 5.0