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Created Mar 30, 2015 08:19PM PST • Edited Jun 19, 2015 04:28PM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   OK 2.5

   Michael Keaton and a WTF cast couldn’t rescue Amy Heckerling’s mob parody Johnny Dangerously. About that cast, guys like Dick Butkus, Alan Hale Jr. and Ray Walston pop up in like three scenes each. What The Fuck?

   Unfortunately the bad screenplay falls flat, with nary a joke that works.
   Johnny Dangerously barely survived that near fatal wound.

   The tone of the comedy is encapsulated in cartoonish Henchmen & Henchwomen bathroom door-signs.

   Hey, I’m a big Michael Keaton fan, always have been.
   Johnny Dangerously being just OK didn’t bother me too much, though it’s sure as hell not one to treasure.

4. Acting

   Good 3.0

   Michael Keaton never misses a beat as a vaudevillian übermensch with the dual identity of great-guy Johnny Kelly & übercriminal Johnny Dangerously. He plays both guises just this side of song-and-dance.

   Major Cast of Characters

   • Byron Thames brightly plays Keaton’s younger-self, Young Johnny.
   • Maureen Stapleton as his mom, Ma Kelly
   • Griffin Dunne as his brother, Tommy Kelly, who grows up to be the dumbest A.D.A. in New York history, which is really saying something.
   • Joe Piscopo as Danny Vermin, let down by the script
   • Marilu Henner as Lil, the sexy cabaret singer
   • Peter Boyle as mob boss Jocko Dundee, an almost subdued Peter Boyle role, which calibrates the rest of the movie as super-surreal.
   • Dom DeLuise fortunately only for one quick scene, as The Pope of all characters: Don’t ask.
   • Richard Dimitri as mafioso Roman Troy Moronie. Roman Moronie’s a cult character.
   • Danny DeVito as the District Attorney, not given a single punchline
   • Ray Walston as a hapless street-vendor who repeatedly gets hit on the head by deliveries
   • Dick Butkus as a henchman: Yes, Dick Butkus.
   • Alan Hale Jr. grinning in a couple of scenes like he’s reshooting the Gilligan’s Island credits.

5. Male Stars Very Good 3.5

6. Female Stars OK 2.5

7. Female Costars Good 3.0

8. Male Costars Good 3.0

10. Film

    OK 2.5

    Johnny Dangerously comes across like a filmic Weird Al song. No surprise then that Amy Heckerling’s film opens with an upbeat Weird Al song.

11. Direction Good 3.0

    Johnny Dangerously was Heckerling’s followup to Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Didn’t go so well.

12. Play Bad 1.0

    Bad jokes cheerfully delivered aren’t enough when the jokes are really bad. Sadly, very few lines work.

13. Music Good 3.0

14. Visuals Really Great 4.5

    The film’s saving grace are the high production values that make it a vivid Roaring Twenties period piece.

15. Content

16. Edge

    Risqué 2.5

    Parodistic Edginess

17. Sex Titillating 2.1

18. Violence Brutal 2.6

19. Rudeness Profane 2.9

21. Reality

    Surreal 3.0

    The parody crosses the line into stupidity when Johnny’s younger brother Tommy remains blissfully ignorant of his older brother’s status as one of New York’s biggest crime bosses. Even in a parody, that’s not something for which we the audience are willing to suspend disbelief.

22. Circumstantial Surreal 3.0

23. Biological Supernatural 3.1

24. Physical Surreal 3.0