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Created Feb 26, 2014 11:30PM PST • Edited Apr 02, 2022 02:20PM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   Good 3.0

   Nobody’s Fool was a late career classic for everybody’s favorite moviestar. Paul Newman’s townie hand revels in being his own man, consequences be damned. He’s the town fool, even if he’s nobody’s fool — but his own.

   Moviestar performances from not only King Cool but also Bruce Willis, Melanie Griffith, a young Phillip Seymour Hoffman and an elderly Jessica Tandy invest the movie with more charisma than it deserves. The underlying film isn’t flimsy, but it’s not great either. Basically it’s a small time story featuring big, big stars.

   The story’s about how none of the men take responsibility. Well almost none. It even cites the Sage of Domesticity on the topic of men avoiding responsibility. “If there’s one thing Oprah understands, it’s men.”

   That’s funny, but most of the movie isn’t. It’s charming without being funny, a proletariate freak show with a leonine Paul Newman in the center of everything. Nobody’s very smart in this downbeat-upstate village. Fortunately Newman’s magnificent head makes up for everything around.

   Melanie Griffith and Catherine Dent are the women in Old King Cool’s life. Wild thing Griffith even yanks up her sweatshirt to flash him. Now that’s a couple of moviestars working for their millions!

   Speaking of working, Newman’s character didn’t know his lawyer was a Jew, which is funny because few realized Newman was half a Jew himself, notwithstanding his quintessentially Jewish name.

   Nobody’s Fool is worth a view if you’ve got unresolved Daddy issues or unsatiated Newman needs. Count me as a member of the latter group.

4. Acting

   Great 4.0

   Jessica Tandy opens the movie, in her final role before ascending to Hollywood Heaven. Josef Sommer plays her disappointing son.

   Paul Newman appears shortly thereafter as her tenant, Sully Sullivan. Sully’s a big drinking son of a bitch, never much of a father or husband but not evil either. IOW, a perfect moviestar role, in which Old King Cool is rock solid. Newman was almost 70 at the time. Sully? Sixty. Moviestars get to lose a decade.

   Dylan Walsh handsomely plays his poorly adjusted son, emotionally stunted due to his father’s absence. Catherine Dent cameos as his mother and Newman’s ex. Alexander Goodwin tenderly plays the grandson.

   Bruce Willis plays Newman’s sometime boss and fulltime antagonist. Willis – at a superstar peak at the time – fittingly plays an over-the-top jerk, the kind of guy who bets his bimbo’s bra in a poker game.

   Melanie Griffith plays his fed up wife – in a state of frequent arousal.

   Supporters

   • Pruitt Taylor Vince as the gratuitously named Rub Squeers
   • Gene Saks as the town pharmacist, who also plays high stakes poker
   • Philip Seymour Hoffman – in an early role, while he was still strapping – plays a hotheaded cop.
   • Philip Bosco’s Judge Flatt hardly has a flat voice, Bosco lending his nonpareil vocal talents just by opening his mouth
   • Margo Martindale is relatively young as the barkeep at the town watering hole
   • Two excellent bimbos in Angelica Page and Shannah Laumeister, the first a braless secretary, the second a topless poker player.

5. Male Stars Great 4.0

6. Female Stars Great 4.0

7. Female Costars Great 4.0

8. Male Costars Great 4.0

10. Film

    Good 3.0

    Robert Benton working from a Richard Russo novel gives the film a patina of Alt-Rockwellian gloss. A small story about family dysfunction, it barely survives getting blown up to feature film level.

    The first kiss comes an hour and a half into this hour-fifty movie. Old-fashioned that way.

11. Direction Very Good 3.5

12. Play Good 3.0

13. Music Good 3.0

14. Visuals Good 3.0
15. Content

16. Edge

    Risqué 2.0

    Six boobs, including two behind a see-through blouse

17. Sex Titillating 2.5

18. Violence Gentle 1.5

19. Rudeness Salty 2.0

21. Reality

    Glib 1.1

    Gently glib on the circoReality axis and natural on physio and bioRealities means there’s not much to comment on regarding cinematic reality.

    In terms of underlying reality, Nobody’s Fool is a two decade old time capsule. For instance, it displays early-boomer parenting, indulgent parenting that is. A Mom and then a Dad excuse their kid and blame adults. We’ve seen a lot more of that since 1994 and now know that it is bad for kids and adults both.

22. Circumstantial Glib 1.4

23. Biological Natural 1.0

24. Physical Natural 1.0