ViewGuide

Created Feb 22, 2014 02:37AM PST • Edited Jun 17, 2017 11:15AM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   OK 2.5

   A tin-can story full of tinny moments jolts a great cinema cyborg back to life, disappointingly. Sadly, the Robocop reboot suffers from a lack of heart, a surfeit of silly sardonicism and too much shallow bombast.

   It does feature three great performances from three great moviestars: Samuel L. Jackson, Gary Oldman and Michael Keaton. Unfortunately they are supporting-actors in this barely supportable revivification. The leading man, er, cyborg, is played by Joel Kinnaman, a little known actor who is less handsome and less charismatic than Peter Weller, the legit moviestar who brought the original Robocop to life.

   But it’s not the mixed quality cast that really drags the movie down. The blame lies with a screenplay that short circuits again and again in a futile bid to establish narrative cohesion from a pastiche of memes. #Fail

   Brian says a true critic would rate RoboCop OK. My OK has more to do with renting RoboCop 1 the night before going out to see the reboot. (OK, maybe that’s what true critics do.) A quarter century after I saw its premiere, the original showed again what real heart in a tin-man can accomplish, especially in a film full of fresh smarts that stars a charismatic leading man, er, cyborg. They sure don’t make ’em like they used to.

4. Acting

   Good 3.0

   Samuel L. Jackson dominates the movie right from the bombastic opening. His TV browbeater is a witless parody of the biggest man on cable news. The O’Reilly Factor becomes The Novak Element in RoboCop. Sam Jackson has no problem amping well beyond Bill O’Reilly’s extreme brio. If only the words he’s given to say were in service to something more than shallow satire.

   Michael Keaton lends his distinctive charisma as the CEO of Omnicorp, part Steve Jobs, part Ernst Blofeld. Gary Oldman transfixes as his brilliant chief Doctor. Keaton and Oldman never deliver poor performances. Seeing them work together is a distinct treat.

   Joel Kinnaman isn’t especially handsome or interesting. I’m guessing they didn’t have to pay him much for the opportunity to play RoboCop. Talk about a dehumanizing management decision. Abbie Cornish is more than adequate in the underwritten role of his wife. John Paul Ruttan is tender as their young son.

   SUPPORTERS

   • Patrick Garrow isn’t nearly badass enough as the main baddy
   • Jackie Earle Haley isn’t quite macho enough to be a major badass.
   • Jennifer Ehle is fine as a corporate functionary
   • Jay Baruchel is a natural as the Marketing Asshole
   • Marianne Jean-Baptiste is fine as an overrun Police Chief
   • Michael K. Williams makes little impact as the Partner
   • Aimee Garcia is one hot cop
   • Zach Grenier is weaslier than he needs to be as a Senator advocating against robotic cops
   • Noorin Gulamgaus is affecting as a Tehranian boy in the movie’s prolog, with Marjan Neshat as his desperate Mother and Meysam Motazedi as his doomed Father

5. Male Stars OK 2.5

6. Female Stars Good 3.0

7. Female Costars OK 2.5

8. Male Costars Great 4.0

10. Film

    Barely OK 2.0

    Never seen the original? You might think this one is pretty good. Seen the original? This one’s barely OK.

    2 Interesting Credits

    • 150 stunt players. The original got by with just nine, with no apparent deficit in the action either.
    • 3 dozen voiceover actors. Probably for the various other robots and also the TV parodies.

11. Direction Barely OK 2.0

12. Play Bad 1.0

13. Music Good 3.0

14. Visuals Good 3.0
15. Content

16. Edge

    Sordid 2.8

    Splat, Klank, Splat, Klank, Splat

17. Sex Titillating 1.6

18. Violence Savage 4.0

19. Rudeness Profane 2.7

21. Reality

    Supernatural 3.8

22. Circumstantial Supernatural 3.4

23. Biological Supernatural 4.0

24. Physical Supernatural 4.0