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Created Aug 20, 2013 08:56PM PST • Edited Aug 22, 2019 06:30AM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   Great 4.0

   Kick-Ass 2 could’ve gotten by with Very Good given how beloved Kick-Ass was. Yet it reaches greatness, notwithstanding its horridly extreme edginess: Beware the crap in this movie because it is voluminous.

   You end up with a bunch of LOL lines and gags, interspersed with vomit-inducing rudeness and violence. The effect is disconcerting, but doesn’t outweigh the copious cleverness and winsome performances.

   Much of the cleverness comes from the High School settings. It’s been a long time since I’ve walked those halls, but most underclassmen and seniors alike will recognize the situations. That’s the bummer: Here’s a High School movie that High Schoolers shouldn’t see. Filth – even funny filth – isn’t healthy for young minds. And this movie is FILTHY, with a capital Fuh! Ahh, but the performances kill, one most of all.

   Chloë Grace Moretz step to the front of the class, the Hollywood class. You’ve got superstar written all over you. Pity CGM’s only in half the movie, even if she gets to play two classic characters, alter-egos no less.

   • Hit-Girl is bad ass, super cool and totally cute. I mean RIGHT?
   • Mindy Macready wows the dance squad and later rules her HS lunch cafeteria. Wows & Rules.

   Here’s an idea: Call the next movie Hit-Girl. Then she can be in more than half.

   Jeff Wadlow ably succeeds Matthew Vaughn, writing and directing the sequel to his lauded origin movie. Wadlow is the son of Katie Couric’s sister, making him the very personification of the mainstream media. Mainstream or not, as a hired hand, he made the movie really raunchy to get the gig.

   I sat Row 12, just right of center on Monday night in the Winchester 22 Big Dome, the one in back. “Either side” when you’re walking in. I like “Either Side”. The 22 Big Dome is big as the iconic Century 21 next door. Seats almost 2,000. We started with half a dozen and ended with just twice that. Pity.

   Hit-Girl would draw better.
   -————————
   Psst – Stick around till the very end to see the next sequel get teed up. The very end.

4. Acting

   Really Great 4.5

   Chloë Grace Moretz mints a monumental moviestar performance as Mindy Macready – girl just trying to fit in – with Hit-Girl her alter ego, the greatest female superhero ever and one of the greatest of any sex. Her half of KA2 stands heads and shoulders above Hit-Man’s, let alone Motherfucker’s. Flips above!

   Aaron Taylor-Johnson is Kick-Ass, can’t take that away from him. Likable, takes a punch, laid-back, cool. Just that, how `bout he takes second banana next installment? Kick-Ass 3 should be called Hit-Girl. HG3

   Jim Carrey’s Colonel Stars and Stripes is one of his best roles, no matter what he thinks about the movie. Carrey the comic genius is a comic come to life, deadly serious yet deadly funny. Nobody does it better.

   Lindy Booth is first amongst the Justice Forever super hero roster. Her Night Bitch rocks a costume open down the middle, from the top of her breasts down to her belt buckle. That buckle? Opens for Kick-Ass.

   The other JF heroes are less distinctive albeit plenty adequate.

   • Clark Duke as Marty, who turns into Battle Guy.
   • Augustus Prew as Todd, who wants to be called Ass Kicker.
   • Donald Faison as Dr. Gravity. He’s got a magic rod.
   • Matt Steinberg as Mr. Radical.

   Christopher Mintz-Plasse owns Chris D’Amico, aka The Motherfucker. Yep, it’s that kind of movie and CMP buys all the way in playing a richly corrupted boss’s boy. John Leguizamo nicely plays his man Javier – well the family’s man. Yancy Butler lights up the screen as his Mom, the widow Mrs. D’Amico.

   Then there’s the other teens.

   • Claudia Lee as Brooke, high school top girl. The blond bitch from hell gets hers. Some advice: Don’t mess with Hit-Girl.
   • Lyndsy Fonseca as Katie Deauxma, soon to be ex-girlfriend of Dave Lizewski. Their hallway breakup between classes is a high school classic.

   Adults Include

   • Morris Chestnut as Detective Marcus, Hit-Girl’s guardian and best friend of her murdered Father.
   • Garrett M. Brown as Mr. Lizewski, father of Dave Lizewski, aka Kick-Ass. Almost went down as Kick-Ass himself.

5. Male Stars Really Great 4.5

6. Female Stars Perfect 5.0

   Chloë Grace Moretz is a Screen Queen, poised for an Audrey Hepburn like career, 21st century style, where you talk like a porn director and shred opponents with ease. Movie stardom has changed.

   Chloë Grace Moretz is the future.

7. Female Costars Great 4.0

8. Male Costars Great 4.0

10. Film

    Great 4.0

    How can a film this adolescently provocative be Great? Easy, it could of been perfect if not so vile.

    Jeff Wadlow deftly echoes scenes from the origin film, starting with getting shot at point blank range.

    He builds upon Mathew Vaughn’s double dip into pop culture archetypes: superhero adoration crossed with High School coming-of-age. We’re talking Stan Lee lines juxtaposed with death-defying dating moments.

11. Direction Really Great 4.5

12. Play Very Good 3.5

13. Music Very Good 3.5

14. Visuals Great 4.0
15. Content

16. Edge

    Horrid 3.7

    A fairly unique ascending Edginess pattern of 2.5 Sex, 4.0 Violence and a whopping 4.6 Rudeness yields a 3.7 overall level of Edge, which is to say one hell of a lot. Put it this way: Titillation takes a backseat to Savagery and Vileness, the whole shooting-match averaging out to a robust Horridness.

    Hit-Girl talks like a porn director. If she was any more blue, her name would be Barack-Biden. Plus she can kill a man with his own finger. That’s provocative when she declares it, so less shocking when she does it, never mind the spouting blood. Consider this desensitization in action.

17. Sex Titillating 2.5

18. Violence Savage 4.0

19. Rudeness Vile 4.6

21. Reality

    Supernatural 3.2

    Not entirely fantasy but totally supernatural, the kids in Kick-Ass take a licking and keep on ticking. Super ouch doesn’t even begin to describe it.

    I’d rated the origin movie as merely Surreal with an rFactor of 2.5. Pity that Wadlow jumped to 3.2.

    Oddball Credits

    • 10 stuntmen, not to mention Hit-Girl’s stunt double, the main one of which seems to be Talila Craig. You go girl!
    • 6 Dressing Props, whatever those are.
    • Jim Carey has four (4!) assistants, though in fairness they each had different jobs. Apparently it takes a team to coddle take care of a superstar.

22. Circumstantial Supernatural 3.1

23. Biological Supernatural 3.5

24. Physical Surreal 2.9