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Created Jul 03, 2013 11:15AM PST • Edited Nov 08, 2014 11:33AM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   Great 4.0

   Restoration refers to Britain’s casting off of Puritanism, a liberated time of royal hedonism and bawdy theater, from which a much lauded historical novel was derived. Add in Robert Downey Jr., Meg Ryan, Sam Neill and the stunning Polly Walker for cinematic firepower. Restoration is the resulting movie.

   Somewhat episodic, occasionally rambling, never transcendent, it doesn’t approach perfection but does reach greatness. History lessons should all go down this sweet, Oscar-winning period pieces be this vivid.

4. Acting

   Very Good 3.5

   Robert Downey Jr. didn’t start sounding British as Sherlock Holmes. Oh nooo, Merivel from Restoration came before, a dissolute medical student awarded a Royal Estate back when that really meant something. Merivel – one of those odd names that could only be British – sounds better coming from a King.

   Sam Neill satisfies as King Charles II, a truly consequential monarch whom Neill plays as lecherous jerk.

   Polly Walker delivers a gorgeous turn as the King’s stunningly beautiful and strongly aroused mistress. Pretty Polly’s Atia of the Julii on HBO’s Rome a few years ago was memorably hot. Her bedroom romp with Mark Antony remains in the mind’s eye like a Shakespearian wet dream.

   Meg Ryan was the big star when Restoration came out, but is only worthy of fourth mention. Not that she didn’t come through. She did. Just that she made the fourth smallest impression. Sucks but it’s true. Could also be that she looks like Dana Carvey in the poster.

   Other Notables

   • Ian McKellen charms as keeper of the Estate – Will Gates
   • Hugh Grant cloys as… Who remembers, it was so cloying.
   • David Thewlis is never a positive addition in my estimation. Not fair, but there you have it.

5. Male Stars Very Good 3.5

6. Female Stars Great 4.0

7. Female Costars Good 3.0

8. Male Costars Very Good 3.5

10. Film

    Great 4.0

    Outstanding visuals suffuse Restoration, leading to well deserved Oscars for Art, Set and Costume Design.

    1600s London coming to life is like seeing your past self.

    Director Michael Hoffman, working from Rose Tremain’s celebrated novel and Rupert Walters’s screenplay, concocted himself a Great Film.

11. Direction Great 4.0

12. Play Very Good 3.5

    Rose Tremain’s novel was shortlisted for the Booker Prize in 1989, though it no doubt worked better on page than screen.

13. Music Very Good 3.5

14. Visuals Perfect 5.0

    The sumptuous visuals include the royal court of King Charles II and Old London Bridge, complete with all the buildings atop it. Filming also took place at Blenheim Palace, Forde Abbey, Brympton House and Caerphilly Castle.

15. Content

16. Edge

    Sordid 3.0

17. Sex Erotic 3.0

18. Violence Brutal 3.4

19. Rudeness Profane 2.7

21. Reality

    Glib 1.4

    Impressively real, even if the circumstances were changed to protect against boredom, leading to CircoReality 170% of normal, give or take.

    As to the underlying reality, the history behind the fiction: Charles II really did license bawdy theaters and permit women to act on stage. The Plague – the Black Death – really did come back to England and London really did burn down in the Great Fire, all during his reign, per Wikipedia.

    Was there this much shtupping going on? Who knows. What happens in the 1600s, stays in the 1600s.

22. Circumstantial Glib 1.7

23. Biological Glib 1.4

24. Physical Natural 1.0