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Created May 31, 2013 03:36PM PST • Edited Jun 15, 2013 02:53AM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   Barely OK 2.0

   More wimpy than wicked, Oz the Great and Powerful unleashes plenty of sound and fury, signifying nothing more than a reminder that real movie magic doesn’t come from FX. It comes from charm and wit. IOW, this huge production seeks to recreate the timeless magic of The Wizard of Oz, but its reach exceeds its gold-plated grasp.

   That said, kids may be perfectly satisfied by Oz the Great and Powerful, especially on a big screen in 3D. I had the misfortune of seeing it from seat 9F on a full flight from DFW to SJC. No kids to enjoy it with, just a plane full of cranky adults, me included.

   Still, the best kids movies also appeal to adults, just as The Wizard of Oz did back in the day and Pixar movies do today. This one didn’t, making it far from great. And powerful? Partially, perhaps.

4. Acting

   OK 2.5

   James Franco isn’t a leading man. Oh, he gets leading man roles, like that of a huckster magician who goes by the name of Oz. But he lacks the charisma to carry a movie, not to mention the diction.

   He works with a trio of witchy women, one of whom disappoints. That would be Mila Kunis, who turns in a rare underwhelming performance. Plus her makeup and wicked laugh are nowhere near the original Wicked Witch of the West. Some things can’t be improved, apparently.

   Rachel Weisz and Michelle Williams fare better, but don’t move the needle in terms of the overall movie.

   The rest of the mostly strong supporting cast as similarly wasted.

5. Male Stars OK 2.5

6. Female Stars OK 2.5

7. Female Costars Good 3.0

8. Male Costars OK 2.5

10. Film

    Barely OK 2.0

    No songs at all. Sure you’re not going to birth another Somewhere Over the Rainbow, but a large part of the original movie’s charm came from its songs. Boo, hiss.

11. Direction OK 2.5

12. Play Bad 1.0

13. Music Barely OK 2.0

14. Visuals Great 4.0
15. Content

16. Edge

    Risqué 1.6

17. Sex Titillating 1.6

18. Violence Fierce 1.6

19. Rudeness Polite 1.5

21. Reality

    Fantasy 4.1

22. Circumstantial Fantasy 4.1

23. Biological Fantasy 4.1

24. Physical Fantasy 4.1