ViewGuide

Created Aug 12, 2012 07:54PM PST • Edited Jun 12, 2016 02:40PM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   Pretty Awful 0.5

   “Dogtooth” is a curiously unappealing title, even given this celebrated movie’s self-conscious weirdness. Somehow Dogtooth made my Gotta View List, so I ultimately got around to viewing it. What a mistake.

   It tells the story of a wealthy and robotic Greek family who use code for common words, and engage in passionless sex acts with one another and a grim concubine. 99%er fantasy, basically.

   None of it makes objective sense, so to hell with any deeper meaning. Plus there’s subtitles – not worth it.

   Worse, it commits the cinematic cardinal sin of boredom. It’s also flat, despite the copious sex.

   Dogtooth won quite a few awards around the globe and was nominated for a Best Foreign Language Oscar. The juries must have seen something I missed. To that end, let me disclose that after suffering through the first half of this lame movie, I hopscotched through the rest of it. Thus there is a chance that its brilliance was revealed in parts I missed. Whaddya think the odds are of that?

4. Acting

   Barely OK 2.0

5. Male Stars Barely OK 2.0

6. Female Stars Barely OK 2.0

7. Female Costars Barely OK 2.0

8. Male Costars Barely OK 2.0

10. Film

    Pretty Awful 0.5

11. Direction Awful 0.0

12. Play Awful 0.0

13. Music Awful 0.0

14. Visuals OK 2.5
15. Content

16. Edge

    Risqué 2.0

    The sex isn’t sexy, even if it is fairly graphic.

17. Sex Erotic 3.0

18. Violence Gentle 1.0

19. Rudeness Salty 2.0

21. Reality

    Glib 1.7

22. Circumstantial Surreal 3.0

23. Biological Natural 1.0

24. Physical Natural 1.0