ViewGuide

Created Dec 06, 2011 08:54PM PST • Edited May 25, 2021 11:04PM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   Good 3.0

   Take Scarface with a grain of Salt to grok Colombiana. If only this cocaine mafia thriller approached the quality of its inspirations. It’s not that it’s bad. It was perfectly fine airplane entertainment. It’s just that the story and stunts aren’t clever enough to pay off their outrageousness, while its star isn’t in the same league as Angelina Jolie, agent Salt herself.

4. Acting

   Good 3.0

   Zoë Saldaña is a plausible headliner, but she’ll need better material than Colombiana to become bankable. She does jump off the screen as a precocious killer on a lifelong revenge mission, spending much of the movie undressing and dressing her lithe little body. But we already knew she could jump off screen, most distinctively as Uhura in Star Trek. She can’t make ridiculous material shine however.

   She’s backed up by a good supporting cast, though none so distinctive to make up for her weak screen presence. Still, Jordi Mollà, Beto Benites and especially Cliff Curtis are more than adequate tough guys. Curtis – a Maori – plays a Latino.

   Special notice goes to little Amandla Stenberg as Saldaña’s child-aged character.

5. Male Stars Very Good 3.5

6. Female Stars Very Good 3.5

7. Female Costars Good 3.0

8. Male Costars OK 2.5

10. Film

    OK 2.5

    The guys behind the camera specialize in over-the-top action films. Fair enough, though if they don’t bring enough wit to the game, the production is at risk of collapsing in on itself, which just about happens here.

11. Direction OK 2.5

12. Play OK 2.5

    Luc Besson also wrote Taken, which is downright plausible compared to Colombiana.

13. Music OK 2.5

14. Visuals Very Good 3.5
15. Content

16. Edge

    Sordid 2.9

    Hot chick dishes out ultra-violence.

17. Sex Titillating 2.5

18. Violence Brutal 3.3

19. Rudeness Profane 3.0

21. Reality

    Supernatural 3.1

22. Circumstantial Surreal 3.0

23. Biological Supernatural 3.1

24. Physical Supernatural 3.1