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Created Feb 12, 2011 06:22PM PST • Edited Feb 12, 2011 06:22PM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   Bad 1.0

   The “final chapter.” Like we haven’t heard that one before.

   I’ve never been a fan of the Saw movies. Admittingly, I did enjoy the first film. I thought it was one of the better films to be released in during a time in which horror was at its lowest. Sure the whole story was a bit of rip off of the far superior Se7en, but it was alright for what it was. Sadly, the same could not be said for the sequels that followed.

   Despite a decent second film and an alright third film, the rest of them were absolutely pointless. Each one was exactly the same and it didn’t seem like there was end in sight. And now we reach Saw 7! And in 3D (kill me now). Boy, was I in for it.

   As I sat down in my seat wearing my disgusting pair of 3D glasses, I sat and comtemplated “Hey, maybe this one will be good. Maybe they’ll finally redeem themselves as a franchise.” And this is why I’m not in the stock market. This is one of the worst films I’ve seen in 2010. And we’re talking about a year that gave us films like Vampires Suck, Grown Ups, and The Last Airbender. This movie was just bad. From the poor acting, to the slow pacing, to the lame scares, all the way down to the lame twist.

   So what is wrong with this movie? WHAT’S RIGHT WITH THIS MOVIE?!?! That’s the real question! Well, maybe I should start off with the characters. Oh, and what characters they are. I despised everyone of these characters. I know that’s sort of the whole point, but this movie took it to the extent where I wanted to slit my wrists! I hated the snobby writer, his wench of a wife, and they’re stupid friends.

   I guess one thing that would’ve helped these characters would’ve been the acting. But the acting is just as bad. I can’t exactly put my finger on the names of these actors, but they were all horrible. The only actors who were good with what they had were Cary Elwes (reprising his role as Dr. Gordon) and Tobin Bell (puppet master Jigsaw).

   The scripts sucked as much as the characters. The script was just boring and had no spark to it. The dialogue was absolutely awful and was so implausible. One thing the film does horribly is set it up for newcomers to the franchise. The only people who will know what’s going on are the people who have seen every one of the Saw movies. Yeah, like we’re gonna sit down for 8 hours and watch each one in a row! I’ve actually seen all of the Saw films but for anyone who hasn’t seen all of them, don’t waste your time.

   Overall, Saw 7, Saw 3D, Saw-The Final Chapter, or whatever the hell you wanna call it is horribly acted, poorly written, and just one of the stupidest horror films I’ve seen a LONG time. If you want a real horror movie, go watch Paranormal Activity 2 or even Let Me In, those are about 1000 times better than this load of garbage and are actually (gasp) SCARY?!?!

4. Acting

   Pretty Bad 1.5

5. Male Stars Pretty Bad 1.5

6. Female Stars Pretty Bad 1.5

7. Female Costars Pretty Bad 1.5

8. Male Costars Pretty Bad 1.5

10. Film

    Bad 1.0

11. Direction Bad 1.0

12. Play Pretty Awful 0.5

13. Music Barely OK 2.0

14. Visuals Barely OK 2.0
15. Content

16. Edge

    Horrid 4.0

17. Sex Erotic 3.5

18. Violence Monstrous 4.6

19. Rudeness Nasty 4.0

21. Reality

    Supernatural 4.0

22. Circumstantial Supernatural 4.0

23. Biological Supernatural 4.0

24. Physical Supernatural 4.0