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Created Apr 24, 2010 06:11PM PST • Edited Apr 24, 2010 09:06PM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   Awful 0.0

   2008 was a FANTASTIC year for movies. I’d go as far as to say it was the best year in movies since 1994. There were more good movies than there were bad ones. Sure, there was some crap such as those god awful spoof movies, Max Payne, and Mummy 3, but other than a few turds, the toilet that was 2008 was pretty clean. I saw the trailer for The Spirit(Frank Miller’s adaptation of Will Eisner’s beloved comic book series) back when I went to see The Dark Knight. I loved the visual style and I loved the tone, this looked like a fun cross between Sin City and Dick Tracy.

   Well, the week The Spirit came out I was fixing to see it with my dad. However, our weekend was a bit too busy and we didn’t get a chance. One week later, we find out that it’s doing very sh*tty in box office returns and that its only playing at 9 pm at one theater. So, my dad and I went to see The Wrestler instead. The Wrestler was an amazing movie that one numerous awards and earned a lot of critical praise and I ended up watching The Spirit on DVD. HOLY SH*T!!! This movie was god awful!!!! Not only was this the worst movie of 2008, but this is by FAR the worst movie I’ve seen in the last decade. I could not believe Frank Miller could make such a piece of shit. This is the guy who made Sin City and 300, I guess they never should’ve let him go solo.

   The film tells the story of Denny Colt. Denny’s a detective who was gunned down in a shooting. He comes back in the dark, mascera wearing persona of The Spirit. He watches over the city known as…well…Central City. He fights crime and tries to stop the evil Octopus.

   The main problem with The Spirit is that it just couldn’t decide what tone it was going for. It didn’t know what it wanted to be. When you watch the film, you find yourself dumbfounded at what it was going for. Miller himself said he wanted it be a throwback to film noir. But there were just so many elements that didn’t work. It couldn’t decide whether it was trying to be a so-bad-its-good movie, a actiony cheesefest, or a dark love story.

   The Spirit is a terrible movie that should be avoided by everyone. I wouldn’t have such a problem with it if it were at least entertaining, but no. Its utterly ridiculous, cheesier than it needs to be, boring as hell, and one of the worst films I’ve ever seen. EVER!!! If you do choose to watch this film, be warned……Your jaw will drop. You will go red with anger. And you will never be the same. Easily the worst film of the decade. SKIP IT!!!

4. Acting

   Pretty Awful 0.5

   The acting in this film is just TERRIBLE!!! I’m not familiar with Gabriel Macht’s other work, so I’m not sure if he truely is this bland. He didn’t crack a smile throughout the entire film. He seemed embarassed saying those terrible lines and he seemed lost throughout every scene. But I guess I gotta give him props for keeping a straight face when saying those laughable lines. Eva Mendes is bland, as usual. Apparently, she thinks the fact that she’s hot will cover up the fact that she can’t act for shit. Samuel L. Jackson portrays the Octopus, probably one of the goofiest and most ridiculous villains since Spiderman’s Sand Man. Wow, Sam, you’ll do anything for a paycheck, huh.

5. Male Stars Pretty Awful 0.5

6. Female Stars Pretty Awful 0.5

7. Female Costars Pretty Awful 0.5

8. Male Costars Pretty Awful 0.5

10. Film

    Bad 1.0

    Oh my oh my oh me oh my! Where do I begin. Well…..

11. Direction Pretty Awful 0.5

    Frank Miller, unless you work with Robert Rodriguez, Zack Snyder, and Quentin Tarantino, do not EVER direct a movie let alone write one on you’re own. Lets face it, you were once a brilliant writer but you’re on my “I hate this person” list, as of write now.

12. Play Pretty Awful 0.5

    “Get me a tie and it sure as hell better be red!”

    Really?!?! Are you serious? Wow.

13. Music Pretty Bad 1.5

    Meh, the musical score is just a bland rehash of the score from Sin City.

14. Visuals Barely OK 2.0

    The visuals really were nothing special. I just couldn’t apreciate anything on the screen.

15. Content

16. Edge

    Sordid 2.6

17. Sex Erotic 3.0

    Well, there certainly ARE some beautiful women in this movie. Maybe bringin’ in a Jessica Alba or two could’ve made it better.

18. Violence Fierce 2.3

19. Rudeness Profane 2.6

21. Reality

    Fantasy 4.3

22. Circumstantial Fantasy 4.3

23. Biological Fantasy 4.3

24. Physical Fantasy 4.3