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Created Jul 04, 2009 05:15PM PST • Edited Jul 04, 2009 05:15PM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   OK 2.5

   Its taken me a while to review this flick because I wasn’t sure how I wanted to approach it. On one hand, the movie absolutely falls apart under scrutiny but on the other hand – its a damn Transformers movie. So I’ve decided to hit both sides as best I can to give as full a review to this movie.

   I will first say that I really enjoyed the first film. It was fun as hell and a great cinematic take on an 80’s icon. It didn’t take itself too seriously and everyone was having fun. This sequel was overall a disappointment. It did have its strong points and it was still a very fun movie, but it was a poorly put together flick technically, the story was not good and it was trying too hard to be cooler than it was. They added robots that were completely pointless (and severely annoying) but they also played up things that we didn’t see enough of in the first film. For example, there is one scene where Optimus Prime tears it up and kicks so much ass that its sick. That one scene made the flick worth watching on the big screen. If you go in wanting to have fun and watch giant robots fight, then you will enjoy the flick. If you get too critical, you will find a lot of things wrong and you will feel like you’ve wasted your time.

   Overall I enjoyed the film, but probably won’t be seeing it again. May or may not buy it to add to the first Transformers on my shelf, but probably not.

4. Acting

   Good 3.0

   The acting overall was okay. Shia as Sam was just as strong as the last time through. He’s funny and keeps things moving really well. He’s awkward and goofy enough that we can relate, but can also be strong enough that you’ll follow him. Megan Fox is, well she’s Megan Fox. She’s not a spectacular actress, but she’s not terrible either. She is, however, so much fun to watch because she is as hot as the devils piss.

   Sam’s parents are hilarious. They are really one of the shining points of this flick. Their interaction with Sam and each other is great and brings you into the story nicely.

   The robots were another story. Optimus and Megatron were great, but you get outside of them and they start to go a bit over the top. The new twins for example, are terrible. They are very much black stereotypes, but they are not offensive at all. Just really annoying. Not funny at all. They look stupid, they act stupid and really don’t add anything to the movie. The studio said put them in, so they put them in. The quality of the CGI on those are sub-par as well. I’m not sure why, but the robots gaining personalities while on earth seems very unnatural. It makes sense, but it was poorly done.

5. Male Stars Great 4.0

6. Female Stars Good 3.0

7. Female Costars Good 3.0

8. Male Costars Barely OK 2.0

10. Film

    Great 4.0

    This film looked incredible. It was very pretty and had some unbelievable scenes. If you are going to see this movie at all, I would really recommend seeing it on the big screen to really get the full effect of the film. The direction is very obviously Michael Bay and gets cheesy in a couple spots, but is perfect for a summer action flick.

    The dialogue was all over the place. Some spots are very funny and natural (Sam and his parents) and other spots painful and embarassing (the robots). A prime example of this is the twins again. Stereotyped and not in a funny way. Then there are things like “punk-ass Decepticons” that just make you shake your head. Much like Jazz in the first flick it really takes away from the film.

    Music was very powerful – nothing revolutionary but perfect for a summer flick. Loud and captivating.

    Visually the movie is stunning. The robots look so damn good. The fight scenes especially were just jaw-dropping. I can’t believe what they can do with CGI nowadays. Phenomenally well done (with the exception of the twins and tongue-bot).

11. Direction Perfect 5.0

12. Play OK 2.5

13. Music Good 3.0

14. Visuals Perfect 5.0
15. Content

16. Edge

    Risqué 2.0

    Some rudeness and some sexual situations, just enough to make a joke usually. Lots of robot violence, but nothing that will upset you. The most sex in the movie is probably Megan Fox in her short shorts, tank top and slow motion running.

17. Sex Titillating 2.0

18. Violence Fierce 1.9

19. Rudeness Salty 2.0

21. Reality

    Fantasy 5.0

    Its giant damn robot aliens. Sci-Fi all the way. Even though it is very fantastical, there are some things that can irritate. Like how the robots triple in size when they transform. How that happens, not sure. The tongue-bot all of a sudden is made up of shape shifting flesh like stuff that the Decepticons have at their disposal. Huh?

22. Circumstantial Fantasy 5.0

23. Biological Fantasy 5.0

24. Physical Fantasy 5.0