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Created Oct 05, 2008 04:39PM PST • Edited Feb 03, 2018 01:37AM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   Very Good 3.5

   Crisp and charismatic Western, done classically yet with an ironic sensibility. Fans of Ed Harris, Viggo Mortensen and Westerns won’t be disappointed.

4. Acting

   Good 3.0

   Ed Harris – with his chiseled good looks and eagle-eyed intelligence – excels at hard-bitten characters. So he’s a natural as a lawman-for-hire who aspires to a refinement beyond his station. In short, a man’s-man actor of Harris’ stature deserves a great Western role in his oeuvre, and Appaloosa Town Marshall Virgil Cole fills that bill for Harris.

   Viggo Mortensen also fares well as Harris’ partner in “gun work” Everett Hitch. Though his movie star handsomeness gets largely obscured by the frontier mustache he sports, he easily coveys how a laconic Western hero’s still waters can be informed by thoughtful depth.

   Renee Zellwegger, in a thankless role as a troublesome woman, deflates the proceedings every time she comes on screen. Perhaps Diane Lane, who was originally slated to play the part, could have made it sympathetic, but Zellwegger simply makes it annoying.

   Jeremy Irons, as an effete yet barbarous rancher, delivers in his consummately professional way. This guy never turns in a bad performance.

   Several supporting actors are worth noting.

   • Lance Henrikson, as another professional gunman, makes a worthy rival to Ed Harris.
   • Tim Spall, the rat-like character from Sweeney Todd, distinctively inhabits a bourgeois businessman in a town not yet safe for normal business.
   • Bob Harris (Ed’s Dad?) makes a perfect frontier judge.

5. Male Stars Great 4.0

6. Female Stars Barely OK 2.0

7. Female Costars Barely OK 2.0

8. Male Costars Great 4.0

10. Film

    Great 4.0

    Based on the novel by Robert Parker (of “Spenser for Hire” fame), Appaloosa compares favorably to Lonesome Dove and Unforgiven, revisionist Westerns that combine stunningly realistic production values with nuanced moral values. Thus we see heroes who have conflicted and often unattractive inner lives, yet who operate in a classically Western milieu of self-reliance and gun justice.

11. Direction Great 4.0

    Ed Harris done himself proud, directing a beautiful film, crisp as a Western morning.

12. Play Great 4.0

    Laconic and pithy, just as it should be. Given Parker’s source material, this is no wonder. More importantly, the story develops the two heroes’ characters in ways both affecting and surprising.

13. Music Good 3.0

14. Visuals Perfect 5.0

    Wonderful visuals, from the museum perfect steam engines, to the cougar overlooking the train tracks, to the highly detailed frontier town of Appaloosa. The costumes are also notable, stylish yet not fussy, especially as worn by the two heroes.

15. Content

16. Edge

    Risqué 1.9

    Barely deserves its R rating.

17. Sex Titillating 1.7

18. Violence Fierce 2.0

19. Rudeness Salty 2.0

21. Reality

    Glib 1.4

    On the one hand, a story of this distinction would be famous if real, perhaps up there with the Gunfight at the OK Corral. OTOH, some of the gunfights looked very real. For instance, Jeremy Irons’ character ends up shooting into the ground in front of his opponent, realistic evidence of how hard it is for any but the most talented and cool gunfighters to actually hit their targets.

22. Circumstantial Glib 1.8

23. Biological Glib 1.5

24. Physical Natural 1.0