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Created Jul 08, 2014 08:25PM PST • Edited Jan 19, 2024 08:24AM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   Very Good 3.5

   An upgraded cast elevates the latest Transformers movie into a perfectly acceptable summer blockbuster. Yes, yes, it’s still based on Mattel action figures, whose Godzilla-like scale dwarfs we puny humans. Plus, bombastic director Michael Bay supercharges his movies to absurdly over-the-top levels of Bayesian action.

   So what, Transformers: Age of Extinction is cheerfully and successfully commercial, on a global scale. For instance, the last reel of this long movie is set in Hong Kong, with drop-ins to the mainland & Beijing. No wonder Variety reports Transformers Earning More in China Than U.S., where it’s also packing ’em in.

   The notable cast upgrade starts with Mark Wahlberg for Shia LaBeouf, even if Marky Mark is playing a dad and Shia played a teen. Instead, Transformers 4 gives us Nicola Peltz as the main teen and de rigueur hottie, an upgrade over Megan Fox. Score!

   Carp all you want. Trans4 is in on the the joke, interspersing several self-aware lines about sequels in with the silliness. Is it a perfect summer movie? Hell no, it’s not even a great one. But it’s well worth the price of admission and nearly three hour chunk of time, especially in 3D. Optimus Prime, we’re heeding your call.

4. Acting

   Very Good 3.5

   Mark Wahlberg, welcome to Transformers! The everyman moviestar with the Marky Mark bod is an easy presence, especially in a popcorn role like this: failing tinkerer and earnest Dad to a super-hot daughter.

   Nicola Peltz plays said hottie daughter, but jumps off screen as much for her evident smarts and character as her sex appeal. One senses she’s going to be more than the flash in the pan that was Megan Fox.

   Supporters

   • Stanley Tucci improves any cast, here as a misguided industrial magnate.
   • Kelsey Grammer is suitably full of gravitas as a power-mad defense contractor.
   • Titus Welliver disappoints as a vicious CIA operative. Odd, Welliver rarely disappoints.
   • Sophia Myles jumps off screen as a determined corporate operative.
   • Bingbing Li disappoints to my Occidental eyes. Her millions of Chinese fans probably disagree.
   • Jack Reynor plays Nicola Peltz’s rally-car driver boyfriend, blandly.

5. Male Stars Great 4.0

6. Female Stars Great 4.0

7. Female Costars Good 3.0

8. Male Costars Good 3.0

10. Film

    Good 3.0

    The well-crafted Saturday morning cartoon badinage – especially when the Transformers are talking – means you have to be in touch with your inner seven-year-old boy to stay fully engaged, let alone enthralled. This proves impossible to do over a 2¾ hour run time.

11. Direction Very Good 3.5

12. Play OK 2.5

13. Music Good 3.0

14. Visuals Really Great 4.5
15. Content

16. Edge

    Risqué 2.2

17. Sex Titillating 1.6

18. Violence Brutal 2.9

19. Rudeness Salty 2.1

21. Reality

    Fantasy 4.1

    Transformium: the magical alloy from which Transformers are made. Absurdium: the science behind it.

22. Circumstantial Supernatural 3.2

23. Biological Fantasy 5.0

24. Physical Fantasy 4.1