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Created Aug 09, 2013 10:10AM PST • Edited Aug 28, 2020 05:21PM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   Really Great 4.5

   I’d turned up my nose at the Coen Brothers’ Intolerable Cruelty: too brightly lit, too obvious, too fake. Bad call on my part back in the day — Intolerable Cruelty is a really great movie.

   Too fake it’s not. Instead it’s wonderfully glib. Gorgeous too.

   Gorgeous George Clooney paired with stunning Catherine Zeta-Jones see to the latter.

   Joel & Ethan’s sublime writing sees to the former. “You want tact, call a tactician.” :-]]

   Mostly it’s LOL funny, as BrianSez. I sure needed funny one night last week and Intolerable Cruelty was just what the Doctor ordered.

   When an early character has an unfortunate incident with his “Daytime Television Lifetime Achievement Award” you know you’ve got funny. Clooney appears nine minutes in, whitening his teeth under a black light. Nevermind that that method isn’t recommended, per my superior Dentist yesterday.

   The story plays out as a wacky L.A. Law done up with major Hollywood production values, starting with those two great moviestars. Before it ends, you’ll find yourself exclaiming: Now that’s a kiss!

   Now that’s what I call a really great movie.

4. Acting

   Really Great 4.5

   Devastatingly handsome, supremely beautiful: Clooney & Zeta-Jones deliver moviestar turns for the ages. Who’s on first isn’t clear. The nearby clip is mostly his scene, but her sublime reactions show a Screen Queen’s serene power. Wow. Zeta-Jones’ smile should be registered as a weapon of mass seduction.

   Back to L.A. Law again, Clooney plays the Arnie Becker role, albeit going him one better. Or even more than one better. He’s a bit hyper for my taste, but that’s clearly how Joel & Ethan wanted him, plus the big lug’s more fun when not lugubrious, which he often is.

   Catherine Zeta-Jones made Intolerable Cruelty half a decade after exploding in The Mask of Zorro, thus proving her enduring stardom. A rare bird, she combines golden age dignity with contemporary hottiness. The former comes at least in part from the fact that she’s an outstanding movie actress, one with complete command of her gorgeous facial muscles. The latter comes from … good genes? Who cares, she’s got it.

   They’re backed up by a terrific cast.

   • Geoffrey Rush as a man with a “Daytime Television Lifetime Achievement Award.”
   • Cedric the Entertainer as a P.I. out to nail your ass.
   • Edward Herrmann as a rich fool, the kind you most often find in the movies.
   • Richard Jenkins as a divorce lawyer named Freddy Bender. “Freddy, what are you talking about?!?”
   • Billy Bob Thornton as Howard D. Doyle, scion to John D. Doyle, oilman. Billy Bob knows how to nail Southerners.
   • Jonathan Hadary disappoints a bit as a flamboyant Austrian Baron.

   There’s other great actors, but at this point the names of their characters give a better sense of the movie.

   • Herb Myerson
   • Wheezy Joe
   • Mrs. Gutman & Mrs. Gutman’s Lawyer
   • Rex’s Young Woman
   • Nero’s Waitress
   • Ramona Barcelona

   Say no more.

5. Male Stars Really Great 4.5

6. Female Stars Really Great 4.5

7. Female Costars Really Great 4.5

8. Male Costars Really Great 4.5

10. Film

    Really Great 4.5

    Joel & Ethan Coen are so idiosyncratic and prolific that it’s easy to overlook or avoid some of their films. I made the mistake of doing so with this one. Rectified now, I look forward to watching it again and again whenever a lift is needed.

    Intolerable Cruelty is an old-fashioned film done with modern gloss. Screwball even, it damn near breaks out into Who’s On First.

    Interesting credit: Liz Himmelstein – Dialect Coach. Perhaps for the British Catherine Zeta-Jones?

11. Direction Perfect 5.0

12. Play Great 4.0

    “You want tact, call a tactician.” You find a funnier line, I wanna hear it.

    Lots of other funnies:

    • “That’s my Jag!!”
    • “Let NOMAN put asunder…”, NOMAN being an association of divorce lawyers.

13. Music Great 4.0

    The last great Elvis song plays over the delayed opening credits. Which song is that? Suspicious Minds.

    We’re caught in a trap
    I can’t walk out
    Because I love you too much baby

    Absolutely baby.

14. Visuals Really Great 4.5
15. Content

16. Edge

    Risqué 1.9

17. Sex Titillating 2.0

18. Violence Gentle 1.5

19. Rudeness Salty 2.1

21. Reality

    Glib 1.3

    Intolerable Cruelty subliminally conveys the Hollywood worldview, starting with what can be called Hollywood Economics, i.e., all exploitation.

    Another example? Clarence Thomas is a punch line. I carry no brief for the Justice, but merely observe how Lefty Hollywood is casually vicious towards their bêtes noire.

22. Circumstantial Glib 1.7

23. Biological Glib 1.1

24. Physical Natural 1.0