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Created Jun 08, 2013 08:31PM PST • Edited Jun 08, 2013 08:31PM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   Barely OK 2.0

   This movie enjoys the benefit of not getting any worse the longer you are out of the theater, and there is a chance it could get incrementally better but never to an outstanding level. Its redeeming value is largely found in three features: 1) you get a glimpse into how weird the workplace will be once you are dead, 2) Vince whats-his-face is a good guy and 3) the value of good lines. Movies enter the crevasses of memorableness in four different ways; a centerpiece of a popular genre, a stand-alone effort in greatness, an insolubly unforgettable scene, and through the engravement of memorable lines. This movie is among the best in recent memory at delivering great one-liners mostly from Owen Wilson save one from John Goodman, but over the 119 minutes at a frequency dwarfed by the gold prospector cleaning his screen in a cold river. The movie also enjoys a predictable but enjoyable final scene with a great twist on human resources that captures all the expectations of what a Google HR VP might be. Overall, the headlines of our day serve as an excellent backdrop to contrast this otherwise empty effort somewhat favorably; the current American reality somehow elevates this effort to entertainment.

4. Acting

   OK 2.5

   The performances in acting were the equivalents of your trips to the nursing home to visit grandma long after anything in her kitchen competed with homecooking. Save a few moments where we see that John Goodman will continue to star as a grumpy old guy somewhere in future scripts, and that Vince Vaughn is truly a good guy but perhaps also the last unemasculated man over 5’8" in Hollywood not yet eligible to be classified as a protected class due to his age, the acting efforts were as if they were preoccupied with the next scripts or waiting on a call from their agents for their next serious roles.

5. Male Stars OK 2.5

   This is the first time I enjoyed Vince Vaughn and I don’t know why. His character does not ask him to grow and develop as an actor. This is the first time I did not see Owen Wilson in his role for his movie, it was more as if I was seeing an aggregate of all his previous roles. Yet, his character had some of the best one-liners cum advice for the younger characters in movie. Write them down, but dont text or tweet them. They boot you from the theater now if you do.

6. Female Stars OK 2.5

   Rose Byrne is worth the Lasex but sorry what is it with the sexual self-loathing in Hollywood that requires the beauties to be from Britain’s other former colonies. The American Female is still the final destination of manhood, unless you can make your way to Italy, and nothing speaks to Hollywood’s disconnection more than the failure to realize it. So Rose walks around Google’s campus, which has the appearance of a Deep Space Nine outpost frustrated with the lack of propellent to eject the inhabitants, with her hair all pulled-up so her friends from Sydney (is it?) can confirm her professional intensity from her facebook photos.

7. Female Costars OK 2.5

   Tiya Sircar flickers hope of bigger roles with a scene when she talks about what she reads and what she does, and the differences therein. We ought to monitor her along the way.

8. Male Costars OK 2.5

   John Goodman is the king of motorized skooters. The rest of the male cast (Josh Brener, Dylan O’Brien,Tobit Rapheal et al) will be likely identified as talented from other scripts and each has their moment to warrant another look someday. Aasif Mandvi does an admirable job of pulling-off the 21st century corporate hard-liner and his effort in the final scene is enjoyable. And of course, Josh Gad’s eruptive identification was well played.

10. Film

    OK 2.5

    The production does capture the uniqueness of the Google habitat well, from the bright solid colors to the eccentricity it seeks to communicate to expansiveness of space that seems so critical for our kids to play video games.

11. Direction OK 2.5

12. Play OK 2.5

13. Music OK 2.5

14. Visuals OK 2.5
15. Content

16. Edge

    Tame 1.5

    Very little edge at all but the rating (PG-13) by now tells you that the worst you might see is the equivalent of Big Bird wetting his pants.

17. Sex Innocent 1.5

18. Violence Gentle 1.0

19. Rudeness Salty 2.0

    We have moments of rudeness from the captain of the other team with a surprising effort to return us to the days before political correctness in some scenes. A pleasant surprise and a credit to Richard Pryor that the occasional grotesquely rude comment can be delivered not only as a moment of humor but as a cultural statement.

21. Reality

    Surreal 2.3

    So actually, with a movie set at the Google campus, what is real and what is surreal, supernatural or fantasy. Of course, I would have raised the rating to fantasy had any of the characters interacted with Ms Sandberg.

22. Circumstantial Fantasy 5.0

23. Biological Natural 1.0

24. Physical Natural 1.0