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Created May 11, 2013 06:43AM PST • Edited May 11, 2013 06:50AM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   Perfect 5.0

   Thought I would spend a moment and describe my all-time favorite movie to add a fine stroke of appreciation to a movie already recognized as a great movie. There is so much to say about all aspects of the movie that much of the commentary will overlap in the categories used to describe a movie that I will need to be forgiven for any redundancy. I waited to hear the review from then the Siskel and Ebert show where I heard for the first time two great movie reviewers struggle to express the unique greatness of the movie. Admitting early on that the movie was violent and profane, but yet strangely intimate was clearly a struggle for them. Their struggle with that alone took me to the theater to see it. Once there, the movie became a series of great scenes and in some cases iconic scenes cascading off the screen, one after the other to nullify the ongoing violence and vulgarity. From the romantic reinforcement on the way to a hit, to John Travolta’s explanation of European fast food, to the conversation and moral verdict on how to interact with another man’s wife, the powerful scripture Sam Jackson recited, to the dance, the date, and then the drama of Travolta and Uma’s date all the way to the man rape and Ringo’s moral moment, the movie is simply the best manifestation of a director’s mind ever put in front of you.

4. Acting

   Perfect 5.0

   God woke up one morning and said " I present to you a black man" and poof we have Samuel L Jackson as a moralizing killer. God woke up another day and said, " Behold the miracle of the moment and I present to you a rack of tits that will act as if she is Kathyrn Hepburn, once", God woke up another morning and said “you must never tire of the belief in yourself and gave us John Travolta”. God woke up and said, “all man can subordinate his ego for higher causes” and gave us Bruce Willis. God woke up one day and said "behold that some things are new under the sun and gave us Ving Rhames. God woke up one day and said “happy is the journey when you are both in it and observing it” and gave us Harvey Keitel. God woke one day and said “loyalty and friendship is a coveted gift” and gaves us Christopher Walken. And he made it all easy for us by putting it all in one movie. The synchronicity of all of these performances is from the heavens.

5. Male Stars Perfect 5.0

   The Black Man’s hair could have been reconsidered.
   John Travolta getting waxed in the bathroom is epic.
   Ving Rhames character getting forcibly intimate with a guy in a red plastic body suit is priceless.
   And the fight between Bruce Willis and Ving Rhames in the pawn shop is the most authentic brawl I have seen on screen

6. Female Stars Perfect 5.0

   Uma will always be loved for this role, but it would have been nice to have seen those tits.

7. Female Costars Perfect 5.0

8. Male Costars Perfect 5.0

10. Film

    Perfect 5.0

    Yeah look, some bad guys are on the loose in California. Big deal. Not so fast. Have you ever seen a bad guy hang by the pool as if he would just as soon be flipping burgers? or the wife of a bad guy dance to romantic songs with another bad guy that she thought was a moral improvement over her husband because she was alone in her relationship? Or did you ever wonder where all those mail order brides are in the finish? some end up in cabs with boxers at night, and not in the modern way with cell phones, but instead with fake traffic in the rear window forgetting important keep sakes. This story of bad guys is told in an array of settings that strangely could only come to life on screen with the talents of Tarantino…all summed up when Keitel and the junk yard queen declare “it could all be mine someday”. I’m telling you, excellence is not nuanced in this flick.

11. Direction Perfect 5.0

    Both restuarant scenes, the elevator scene between Jackson and Travolta, the pawn shop scenes were rare moments of human immortal behavior

12. Play Perfect 5.0

13. Music Perfect 5.0

14. Visuals Really Great 4.5

    At the end, when Willis and Rhames are discussing the terms and conditions of Willis’ acquittal of the fight scam is as priceless of a moment in movie history as any ever put to an audience. Blood and sweat is what you saw, revenge and absolution is what you heard.

15. Content

16. Edge

    Sordid 3.2

17. Sex Titillating 1.9

18. Violence Savage 4.2

19. Rudeness Nasty 3.6

21. Reality

    Glib 1.5

22. Circumstantial Glib 1.6

23. Biological Natural 1.0

24. Physical Glib 1.9