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Created Apr 07, 2012 01:45PM PST • Edited Jul 26, 2013 02:02AM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   Perfect 5.0

   So that’s what everyone was talking about… charm in abundance, joyous surprises throughout, a winning pair of romantic leads and one really cute dog. Best Picture? Sure, why not. Who needs the spoken word.

   Let’s rewind. Having missed The Artist during its 2011 heyday, I finally caught it on an airplane a quarter of the way through 2012. Even on a small seatback screen however, this French love letter to early Hollywood proved an utter delight, its silent movie affectations easy to follow and terrifically effective.

   The story recalls A Star is Born. A big star meets cute a talented nobody, who then goes on to stardom after her idol/lover falls from fashion. French stars Jean Dujardin & Bérénice Bejo’s magnetic chemistry elevates the love story of George Valentin & Peppy Miller into the pantheon of cinematic romances.

   Set during and after the silent movie era of a romanticized Hollywood, Michel Hazanavicius’s movie heavily flatters the movie industry, which had to help with the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, who saw fit to award The Artist five Oscars.

   Flattery aside, The Artist earns its accolades the old fashioned way. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll delight in its visual and intellectual beauty. Who says they don’t make ’em like they used to.

4. Acting

   Really Great 4.5

   Jean Dujardin makes a terrifically winning movie-star: dashing, upbeat, rakish. His pencil mustache perfectly delineates him as an old time Hollywood knight.

   Bérénice Bejo makes a quirkily charming flapper: joyous, confident, adorable. And what a perfect character name her husband gave her: Peppy Miller. Peppy. There’s a name you want to associate with.

   The third member of the trio at the movie’s heart is Uggie, a Jack Russell terrier who could be said to steal the show if only the show weren’t already so damn charming. “Never work with animals or children,” W.C. Fields said. Sage advice normally, doesn’t apply here.

   Several strong players appear in supporting roles, “appear” being the operative word, since they mug but don’t vocalize.

   • John Goodman as a studio mogul.
   • James Cromwell as a faithful driver and manservant.
   • Penelope Ann Miller as a bitter wife.
   • Malcolm McDowell as a butler in a cameo appearance.

5. Male Stars Perfect 5.0

6. Female Stars Perfect 5.0

7. Female Costars Very Good 3.5

8. Male Costars Great 4.0

10. Film

    Perfect 5.0

    All hail Michel Hazanavicius, the French auteur who created this confection, including placing wife Bérénice Bejo as one of its leads. His film serves as a mash note to Hollywood from a foreign admirer. Note that when the silent movie-star at its center utters his only word of spoken dialog, it is with a distinct French accent. No wonder he was more comfortable making silent movies for an insular American public.

11. Direction Perfect 5.0

12. Play Really Great 4.5

13. Music Perfect 5.0

14. Visuals Perfect 5.0

    Brilliantly black-and-white, with occasional dashes of color.

15. Content

16. Edge

    Tame 1.4

17. Sex Innocent 1.3

18. Violence Gentle 1.5

19. Rudeness Polite 1.4

21. Reality

    Glib 1.4

22. Circumstantial Glib 1.7

23. Biological Glib 1.4

24. Physical Natural 1.0