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Created Jan 21, 2011 08:49PM PST • Edited Nov 15, 2014 02:41AM PST

1. Quality

2. Summary

   Great 4.0

   Everyone’s seen doomed relationships. The one in Blue Valentine is doomed six ways from Sunday.

   He drinks too much. She needs more than loves him, while he loves her obsessively. She obsesses on troubles and flaws, her’s mostly. He’s childlike; she’s forced to grow up. Doomed? Oh yeah.

   Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams’ Dean and Cindy charm as star-crossed lovers, Hall of Fame Lovers. Just doomed. He crazy-loves her. She appreciates him, until she can’t take it anymore.

   Then the story deepens, dark turns become clear.

   Their deep relationship runs its twisted course, oddly endearing to the end.

4. Acting

   Great 4.0

   Michelle Williams’ perfect nose sits atop world class lips, the rest of her slim and blond, all of which makes her the prettiest girl Ryan Gosling’s Dean has seen.

   Her nicely understated performance strews clues in its wake. For instance, why the “no, no, nose” as she hits the big O? Girl’s got troubles.

   Gosling is moviestar handsome from some angles, goofy from others, filling out his Guinea T as a cruiser-weight Stallone, Rocky Lite being this great actor’s guise in Blue Valentine. Lars and the Real Girl it ain’t.

5. Male Stars Really Great 4.5

6. Female Stars Really Great 4.5

7. Female Costars Very Good 3.5

8. Male Costars Very Good 3.5

10. Film

    Very Good 3.5

    Excellent pairing of present and past doubles the slim intensity.

11. Direction Great 4.0

    Great bit-o-directing, if just this side of mannered.

12. Play Very Good 3.5

    Slim story, purely about love. Money doesn’t play a role, status only peripherally. He’s not good enough for her, as far as he and the rest of the world are concerned.

13. Music Great 4.0

14. Visuals Good 3.0
15. Content

16. Edge

    Sordid 3.0

    Violence a mere 1.9, Sex and Rudeness almost twice that at Erotic and Nasty, rounds out to nicely sordid.

17. Sex Erotic 3.5

18. Violence Fierce 1.9

19. Rudeness Nasty 3.7

21. Reality

    Glib 1.5

    Smoke and drink that much? Maybe, but not for long.

22. Circumstantial Glib 1.5

23. Biological Glib 1.8

24. Physical Glib 1.2